Episode 2 Transcript: The Great White Whale
The International Race of Hammpions Episode 2: The Great White Whale
Caleb [00:01]: Good evening and welcome to the International Race of Hammpions, coming to you live from where you get your podcast. Tonight’s episode, the Great White Whale, is brought to you by Geno Justin and I’m Caleb. So let’s get started. So the great white whale, the first of the great white whales, I should Say was a 1990 Volvo 740 Turbo Wagon, which I’m sure none of us have had experiences with dumb old Volvos before. Not a single.
Justin [00:44]: No, not at all.
Caleb [00:46]: No. I mean, so, I mean, I’m a.
Justin [00:54]: Fan, but.
Caleb [00:57]: Likewise,.
Geno [00:59]: No complaints from me.
Caleb [01:02]: I think between us we’ve had a couple. So let’s see, I’ve had, last count, I’ve had somewhere around 20 of the things.
Geno [01:23]: See, I’m trying to think now,.
Caleb [01:32]: I’ve.
Justin [01:32]: Had a quarter of one, probably had.
Geno [01:35]: About a baker’s dozen.
Caleb [01:36]: Yeah, that sounds about right. But yeah, I’ve had a couple. My uncle has a bad influence on me. So my Uncle Bob will feature heavily in many of my Volvo stories because he really and truly has a bad influence on me. I bought my first one at, on his advice and I found the great white whale because of him. So, and kind of context here. My uncle Bob is the kind of man who would drive rear wheel drive Volvos and diesel Peugeots and Alfa Romeo in rural Tennessee, very rural Tennessee.
Justin [02:32]: So, so he’s, he’s trying to plant his flag of unique European automotive excellence in the rural bits of western Tennessee.
Caleb [02:51]: Well, by the time they got to Uncle Bob’s yard, they weren’t so excellent anymore.
Justin [02:59]: That’s, that’s nonsense. Don’t talk them down like that. They’re beautiful vehicles.
Caleb [03:05]: They are, they are.
Justin [03:07]: And the rust is just character.
Caleb [03:10]: Well, on the alphas, yes. According to Uncle Bob, Volvos don’t really rust outside the upper Midwest. I’ll take his word for it. But, so this story starts with, I was looking for a replacement for my first car. And because I was like, you know, I’ve got one turbo Volvo already, I like it. I’m not really driving my Nissan anymore. So I figured, you know, well, hell, I would find myself a wagon. And you know, my uncle Bob’s like, well, you know, the retired state judge has his old wagon, it’s sitting in front of his brother’s shop just down the road from you. And so I went down, took a look at it, asked what a good number would be, and he gave me a very reasonable number, about a thousand bucks.
Caleb [04:08]: So after some exchange of Texas 10s for title, I drove, you know, about a mile and a half down the road to get home. And thus started the adventure of a great white whale. And this thing, it was beautiful, man. It was color code 190, ice white with oxblood interior. So for me, as an Alabama fan, the combination of white with dark red interior was just about perfect, which how I beat my fans. Roll Tide, roll tied. So, you know, I get this thing home and it needs a little help because the about, you know, a mile and a half, two miles to get home. It’s like, yeah, this thing’s got boost, leaks out the wazoo.
Caleb [05:08]: And, you know, so I set, you know, fixing it up, made an order for my pd and I was on turbo bricks and saw where a guy named Boris. Remember Boris?
Geno [05:24]: Remember Boris the sneaky Russian?
Caleb [05:28]: I ordered a set of E codes from him and they did get here. And so order a set of E codes, swapped out the headlights, and none of us had any fog, light, headlight brackets. So I went down to my buddy Paul, which Paul is a retired. Like, he’s a retired union pipe fitter. Like the man’s got, got his 50 year card in the local union hall, said, paul quit paying dues. You’ve already paid 50 years of dues. Come on, you’re. You’re a lifetime member. We’re not gonna, we’re not gonna charge you dues now. And anyway, went on over a pause with the factory headlight brackets and, you know, we took some measurements and did some rearranging and made them fit and, you know, got ve codes installed nice and leveled out.
Caleb [06:34]: And I got myself a V cam, a slotted V cam, because the Sevens had a, you know, head mounted daisy instead of a block mount like the 240s. So, you know, put that in and, you know, she got a little squirrely after that because, you know, the. A combination of cam and factory turbo woke up about the same time. So you went from, you know, turbo lag, turbo lag, all the power all at once. So it was kind of a light switch type. Power delivery, if you didn’t know how to handle, was unique. I later fixed that by putting a bigger turbo on it. So I had some turbo lag after the cam woke up. But until I got to that point, which the bigger turbo came later in the story.
Caleb [07:47]: So I was, I just put the new cam in and I got it, you know, run it halfway decent, you know, and it was a little damp out and I had to, you know, go run some errands, pick up groceries in town. So I’m, you know, heading around the corner and there’s this little road out behind my mom’s old house. And it’s basically got a couple of consecutive 90s. I’m coming around the first one and I give it just a little bit of throttle. And the about 15 year old Goodyears on the back decided they wanted to break loose a little on the damp pavement. And I almost. And it’s like, you know, it went into a ditch. I almost had it. Correct. I almost had it out of a ditch. Bam. Hit a mailbox.
Justin [08:39]: Ooh.
Caleb [08:40]: And the dude was out front and the guy was out front, and I was just, I got out, I was apologetic. He was like, hey, I’m just glad you stopped, you know, I was like, yeah, I stopped. I hit your mailbox. I’m at least going to pay for it. And he goes, grabs a chain, hooks it up to his old square body and pulls me out of a ditch. And his wife had called the law. Oh, no. His wife called the sheriff’s department. You know, while, you know, we’re already hashing it out. I’d already asked, you know, hey, how much is the mailbox? Can I, can I run up to the atm, you know, get it out and drop off the cash? And he’s like, yeah, sure, you’re fine. But she called the law. So were like, all right, fine.
Caleb [09:26]: He’s like, all right, you should probably hang out till the law gets here. Well, my cousin Joey shows up as the sheriff’s deputy and we all knew each other. Like Joey knew the guy. I’d gotten to know the guy. The guy’s wife is ticked off in our living room because she was hoping that, you know, somebody would get what for hitting their mailbox. Meanwhile, you know, we’d already hashed it out, we’d already agreed on a good value for a box, you know, and it was my cousin who showed up and he was like, yeah, y’ all have already got it taken care of. I ain’t gonna write a ticket or nothing. And of course, didn’t harm the Volvo at all, because it’s a Volvo. And this is the first of many adventures in this thing like this.
Caleb [10:20]: This is just kind of setting the stage. I get a hotter cam, put in all that good stuff, and I’m daily driving it for a while. You know, it actually doesn’t get too bad gas mileage if I keep my Foot out of it. And at the time, I was going to the university of north Alabama. I’m. I’m sitting in with. I’m sitting, you know, in my Prof. In my professor Larry’s office, and were talking, and it comes out in conversation that I like bluegrass music. And I was looking for a research project, and at the time, Larry was focused on the psychology of religion and being an ordained baptist minister turned psychology professor, you know, he found, you know, religion to be a very fascinating thing to study from a psychological perspective.
Caleb [11:19]: And so we’re just sitting there talking, and we come up with the idea to do a study on themes of sin and salvation in bluegrass in live bluegrass performances, which is a fancy way of saying, how do you get a psychology department to pay for you to drive around the American south in a Volvo station wagon for a summer and record bluegrass festivals? I reckon that’s how that is. How? Well, first festival comes up, and it’s down. It’s somewhere in central Alabama, you know, east of Birmingham. And I’m driving down there, and a. You know, a friend of mine was working on her master’s at uab, University of Alabama at Birmingham. And so. Yep. So, you know, I just like, hey, you know, can I crash on your couch, you know, for this weekend? Because I’m doing research. There’s a bluegrass festival going on.
Caleb [12:26]: You know, can I just crash on your couch? And she’s like, yeah, sure. And so, yeah, I drive down there, crash on the couch, and I get up next morning, go to a bluegrass festival and get on i20. And it’s like I’m turning quite a few more revs than I’m supposed to, and that little orange up arrow on the dashboard shouldn’t be on. And the dreaded overdrive solenoid struck on that trip. So when I recorded festival, you had a good old time and packed her all up, drove back home and started editing, recording. Got in the over uncle bob’s shop, grabbed die grinder, pulled over drive solenoid out, and, you know, made my own bypass because I wasn’t paying IPD 40 bucks, you know, for a piece of stamped metal with a groove. Yeah.
Caleb [13:32]: In retrospect, with the time I spent with a die grinder, I probably would have saved money doing the. But, you know, I was a broke college student, so, I mean, that’s just kind of how it goes. We don’t always make the most sensible decisions. And the next big trip for a festival was up in Harlan, Kentucky. Oh, boy. And, you know, and by this point, I had been following a band, you know, breaking grass, you know, there from my neck of the woods, you know, just crossed the border in Mississippi.
Caleb [14:12]: And I got to know folks in the band pretty well because I’ve been in festivals in Georgia with them whole time camping out in the back of this Volvo station wagon, which looks kind of out of place at a bluegrass festival parking lot in general, because these are kind of like real bluegrass. You know, it’s not like this lighter duty bluegrass for city folk, super duty bluegrass. The real deal. We got the American flags, and everyone’s got pickup truck, and about half of them actually use it for work. That kind of bluegrass, they. They actually do sing the songs about killing folks. And y’, all folks, you know, just making folks just disappear like they. They do the real thing.
Caleb [15:04]: And so anyway, I’m on the way up to Harlan, Kentucky, and, you know, route takes me out through, you know, through Huntsville and, you know, up through, you know, across, you know, northern Georgia. You know, been up 75 Knoxville, and I’ve been running a pretty good clip because it’s July in Alabama and it’s hot, and my car has dark red leather interior and no air conditioning. So I got an igloo cooler on the front passenger seat full of Gatorade and Arizona tea. So I got Arizona green tea. And on these trips, you know, I’m going to festivals. I’d finally stopped at a junkyard that had the fabled, renowned, impossible to find Volvo 940 cup holder armrest. And I had this joker in my car. So, you know, I was.
Caleb [16:19]: I was shitting in tall cotton, man, and, you know, having good old time, and I’m running pretty good clip, you know, I’m coming up 75, about 4:35 o’, clock, west side of Knoxville. Going to stop, dinner with a buddy of mine who was at UT Knoxville at the time, and then I was going to stay with my aunt who lived in Oak Ridge. And I push a brake pedal down,.
Justin [16:53]: And.
Caleb [16:55]: There ain’t a lot of slowing for how much my foot is going.
Justin [17:03]: It’s fine. You don’t need brakes.
Caleb [17:05]: The rush hour in Knoxville is coming up real fast, coming up an awful lot faster than I want to. But anyway, I figure out that, you know, if I push the pedal down fast enough, I’ve got enough braking force to get the thing to slow down. So, you know, I do, and I get there and, you know, I park, you know, in front of, you know, building on UT’s campus, and I get out, shut the door, lock it, and the thing just starts pissing, cooling all over a damn parking lot, marking its territory, which, I mean, okay, fair enough. You know, I’ve been running 110 up I75 for hours. So, I mean, it needed a break and I did, too. But went and got dinner, went back to my car, reached in.
Caleb [17:58]: Oh, as Geno knows, the you can’t tighten the overflow cap too much on a red block because if you crank them down, it ain’t good. So anyway, what happened? You know, some idiot, most likely me, had cranked the coolant cap down a little bit too much and so you backed her off. I had a spare gray cap in my trunk. So on back a car. So swapped out for a gray cap and all good. Head on up to Oak Ridge again. She’s got coolant in her, but still not doing too good on the break in front and get there, you know, hang out with my aunt for a little bit, catch some Z’s, get up to Harlem the next day. And, man, I get up to Harlan. It’s the hottest summer in 50 years up there.
Caleb [19:02]: When I get there, it’s 115 degrees in the shade, speed, and it’s like 43, 44 for those who speak metric and yours are wagon out there and go record my bluegrass festival. It’s so hot, my phone is shutting off for overheating in the shade. And I was carrying a Nokia at the time. Like, it’s too hot for a Nokia. And that’s when you know. That’s when you know. And yet I get professional recorded and, you know, overnight lows get down to about 92 as I’m camping in the back of this station wagon that does not have tinted windows. So it’s still got all that residual heat from the day. And. But, you know, we get it done and I get it recorded.
Caleb [20:05]: And I’m like, you know, I’m just going to cut across Kentucky and take 65 down because I got buddies in Nashville, I got friends, and I’m okay, I’m taking it sensible. My brakes ain’t great. I can get the car to stop, but the brakes ain’t doing too great. So, you know, if I hold the pedal down, it starts sinking to the floor, so I should be careful. And I’m coming out of Bowling Green and there are some folks, you know, with, you know, hot fancy sports cars, you know, running a little bit over a limit. And I’m like, well, if they can, I can too. So I start hanging with them. And by this point you know, I’d put a G valve on it. Which valve? Manual boost controller for those of turbo brick. Infamy. And this thing I’ve got, it’s turned up.
Caleb [21:10]: It’s around about 15 pounds of boost or so. And I got hot, I got bigger injectors and you know, program chip, guide ship, computer, all that. You know, I’m hot stuff and. Which ain’t the brightest thing to be done when you’ve got brake problems and you’re coming up on the Tennessee state line where the troopers like to hang out. But I guess I get her back off before I get the state line and get home and give brakes all fixed and stuff and you know, set off for another adventure down to Purvis, Mississippi, which, thank the Lord it was an indoor festival, so it was air conditioned bluegrass. That didn’t mean I wasn’t camping in the heat.
Justin [22:09]: Where’s Purvis? In Mississippi.
Caleb [22:12]: It’s about 20, it’s about, I don’t know, 20 minutes. Half an hour north of the Louisiana state line. You know, festival ended about, you know, 10, 11 o’. Clock. I had a thought of, you know, I ain’t never been Louisiana before. And I’d started collecting state travel maps. They give you the rest area. So I figured I would at least go down there and pick one up. And I did, you know, got a picture of a wagon from, you know, big, you know, Louisiana state statue of the state, you know, and all that, you know, I was like, okay, you know, I’m just gonna run down, catch I10, take it east 10 Mississippi, then go back up.
Caleb [22:56]: And so, you know, I did and I’m running pretty good clip and I’m coming about midnight, you know, got, you know, sunroof open, winders down and got some night wish playing on the radio because I was listening to so much live bluegrass, but I didn’t want to listen to it in the car. So, you know, I was listening to some Nightwish to Detox from all the bluegrass. I’m listening, y’. All. I think I’m listening to Nightwish and you know, rising on like a big guitar solo hits. I’m about a mile and a half from a state line and I’m moving pretty good. I, I see blue lights light up in the median after I pass by. And I just thought, you know, I bet I can beat him to the line, by God, I did.
Justin [23:56]: Saw good old boy, just saw a flash of white and heard some guitar solo and he was dusted.
Caleb [24:04]: You know, I had the tag lights were out on it at the time, so I knew he couldn’t get a read on my tag. And I was already. I was moving pretty good. And I was moving even better when I crossed Mississippi state line. And yeah, I took at first exit back to Mississippi, you know, fix tag lights up here because, you know, last thing I need is get pulled over for these. Especially after that stunt I just pulled.
Justin [24:33]: And then you always followed the rules of the road and drove like a responsible person ever since.
Caleb [24:40]: And that little stunt I pulled was on Louisiana highways was the last that the exhaust mounts on my wagon had sls, they had to say. So I kind of, you know, improvised them out to get back home and ran up in muffler shop. And that was the last real big adventure in that wagon. And after that, you know, I upgraded the turbo and proceeded to burn the rear, the right rear tire off. The first time I drove it, I was literally just going up a hill and you know, I put my foot down a little bit and I was like, there’s a lot of noise but not so much going.
Justin [25:40]: Just a casual tire roast.
Caleb [25:42]: But, you know, I get it up top hill. I look and it’s like, oh, that right rear tire is bald and missing about half its sidewall. It blew. And of course, yeah, I go, I open my back and you know, look under the third row seat and turns out, well, spare had not been long for this world. Either.
Justin [26:10]: Could be an issue.
Caleb [26:12]: So I’m a couple miles from, you know, a couple miles from my mom’s house, and my 245 is sitting in her driveway. And I called mom, it’s like, hey, can you grab the spare tire out of that green wagon in your driveway? And she brought a spare. Thankful Lord it was good. And got it changed and got it home.
Justin [26:36]: And.
Caleb [26:38]: You know, that about that time I was like, you know, I should probably not be daily driving this and you know, went, got tire fixed, all of that. And I’m driving up, you know, for up toward Jackson and I’m taking back roads. I see, I look off to the right and I see, you know, this basically bunch old like, you know, box vans and stuff. And I was younger and dumber and folks weren’t quite so trigger happy in this era. So I go up and you know, I pull off, you know, go ask, hey, you sell the intercooler out of that box van over there because had an Isuzu npr, which for those who are not in the Volvo World, the Isuzu NPR box van.
Caleb [27:37]: The intercooler out of that joker will drop right in place of a factory one on a Volvo 27 or 9.
Justin [27:45]: He’s like, well, that’s, well, that’s convenient.
Caleb [27:49]: And he was like, yeah, 20 bucks. Alrighty, here we go. I gave him a 20. We got the intercooler out of it, threw it in the back, I took it home, swapped it in a wagon. And about that time I was getting ready to graduate and I was driving up Nashville quite a bit. I ended up letting go of that wagon, sold it to a friend of mine who kept it for about a year or so and then he sold it on. And last I heard, it’s running around Michigan today, so probably still has a few of my bad decisions that left over in it. I’m sure it was a good car. It was a good car for that period of my life. And I will say I would not have nearly as many interesting road trip stories from university without it.
Caleb [28:50]: And the 245 that replaced it as my daily was a way more sensible car, but it was not as story worthy. I did not get nearly as many tails out of that car.
Justin [29:08]: Yeah, yeah, the wagon was legendary.
Caleb [29:12]: Yeah. And it was replaced with a, you know, another wagon, but it just wasn’t the same. Well, the, yeah, the, the great.
Justin [29:22]: White whale of a wagon. That one was special. I’ve got one very important question.
Caleb [29:33]: All right.
Justin [29:34]: What is the average Volvo that you’ve owned? We must, we must figure this out using math. So what we do is we take the amount of Volvos you’ve owned and we take the model numbers and we add all of the model numbers up and then divide them by the amount of Volvos you owned and then we find the average.
Geno [29:52]: You haven’t owned like 1800 or something, have you? That outlier would skew that data.
Caleb [29:57]: I have not owned an 1800. I have owned a 122 though.
Geno [30:06]: Yeah, that’s not as big of a.
Justin [30:08]: That still might, that might skew it towards 240, but still.
Caleb [30:13]: Yeah, it’s. But I have also owned a 940, but only one. So the 122 and a 940 kind of cancel each other out.
Justin [30:22]: And I’ll write this down. I’m going to do the math. We got a 122. And then what about. Have you owned a 240 for 242?
Caleb [30:39]: So we’re going to do the 240s. We are going to break them down by two, four and five door respectively. So 242, 244, 245. I think that’s most reasonable. So I’ve had one 242. I have had. I’ve had two 244s. I’ve had three 245s, but pretty sure I’ve had three 245s. Then 740s I’ve had. I want to say I’ve had three 740s. I’ve had a. Did I mention with 262? No, I had a 262. And then let’s see, I had a S60, so I guess we had the 60, so that might skew them a little low. And I have a 940 and. Okay, I don’t think I’ve had as many Volvos as I thought I had.
Justin [31:54]: And you said three 740s.
Caleb [31:57]: Three 740s, two sedans, one wagon, and.
Justin [32:03]: They’re all just called 740s, though. It’s not like a 740. It’s not like a 240 where the model numbers do. Okay, yeah. All right.
Caleb [32:11]: Volvo people kind of refer to them like that. But it never actually came with a badge that said it. Oh. So what is my average. I’m doing the math and Geno, you get to do this exercise next. What is your average Volvo?
Justin [32:30]: All right, I’m going to leave out the S60 at first.
Caleb [32:34]: Okay, so what is my average rear wheel drive Volvo? Because the S60 is my only wrong wheel drive.
Justin [32:41]: All right, so we got 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12. So all of them together added up is 5,009 and then divided by 12. 417.
Caleb [32:58]: Man, just a little bit more and I could have had 420.
Justin [33:03]: Was there ever. Wasn’t. Isn’t there some. Isn’t there a Volvo for.
Caleb [33:10]: So.
Geno [33:10]: Yeah,.
Caleb [33:12]: Yeah, there’s a 480. There’s also a 440, which was a weird Dutch thing. 440. Huh?
Justin [33:28]: 460. 440, Yeah. Well, since you never had one of those, I suppose. Well, I guess the closest what would be 262 probably.
Caleb [33:45]: Yeah.
Justin [33:46]: Or a 262.
Caleb [33:47]: Yep.
Justin [33:49]: All right, so that’s your average Volvo for some reason.
Caleb [33:53]: So my average one, yeah, that sounds about right.
Geno [33:57]: Let’s see. Okay, so if I’m gonna add mine up, let’s see here. I’ve Had. I got a 242, 245. I’ve had three 244s, two 780s, a 943, 960s.
Caleb [34:21]: Man, you’re a baller with three 960s.
Geno [34:24]: I owned both of those 780s at the same time. So that’s. I think that’s as baller status as it goes.
Caleb [34:31]: It is, it really is. So between the two of us, we have owned every Bertone, model, Volvo ever made. Wait, wait. Okay.
Justin [34:42]: If you Google Volvo 417, it’s the paint code for Nautic Blue Pearl.
Caleb [34:46]: I’ll take it.
Geno [34:48]: Trying to think. Did I have anything else other than the. The V70? I think that’s it for me.
Caleb [34:57]: Yeah, the V70 was good. I drove that car once.
Geno [35:02]: It was a fun car.
Caleb [35:04]: And you can try it.
Justin [35:06]: I can try and add yours up. Say it again. All right.
Geno [35:11]: You want me to list them off again?
Justin [35:13]: Yeah, real quick.
Geno [35:15]: All right, so 1242, 3, 2 44s, 1 2, 4 5, 2 780s. 1 943, 960S.
Justin [35:32]: All right, cool. Let me figure this out.
Caleb [35:34]: And fun fact, the 940 on that list gets counted twice because it was on my list and his. Ms. Wagner passed from Geno to me to my Uncle Bob.
Justin [36:01]: All right, so that’s 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. 635 And a half. So is there a Volvo 6 something?
Geno [36:23]: I don’t think so. There’s an 8.
Caleb [36:27]: Yeah, but you wait.
Justin [36:29]: There’s a 670 semi truck.
Geno [36:32]: All right.
Caleb [36:33]: All right. Well, take it.
Justin [36:35]: Or I suppose the closest would be the 780. So your average is a 780?
Caleb [36:41]: Well, I don’t know. I mean, there are the 740s, though.
Geno [36:46]: Yeah, but I never own one.
Caleb [36:48]: True.
Justin [36:48]: That’s what I meant. Out of the ones that you’ve owned, the average one you’ve owned is the 780. While Caleb, somehow yours is the 262.
Geno [36:56]: So both of our average volumes are Bertonimous.
Justin [37:03]: Look, it’s just. Look, the math doesn’t. The math doesn’t lie. You can’t. It’s just math.
Caleb [37:11]: You can’t blame it, man. I remember why I picked up the Swagon at 9:40. I flew from Kansas City up to Minneapolis and you know, to meet this stranger from the Internet that I knew from this form of weird Volvo people to buy a station wagon sight unseen and drive it back.
Justin [37:37]: That’s definitely how you get kidnapped.
Caleb [37:39]: And that Adventure has turned into many years of friendship so far.
Geno [37:46]: But yeah, that all worked out really nicely for everyone.
Caleb [37:49]: I know he got cash, I got car and we both got stories.
Geno [37:55]: And what did that car have on it when you picked it up? It was like 325,000 on the odometer when you took it.
Justin [38:03]: Yeah, just getting broken in.
Caleb [38:06]: Yeah, I was like 3:20 or so when I picked it up from you. Yeah, I sold it to uncle Bob with 355.
Geno [38:20]: That was a great running.
Justin [38:22]: What a trooper. What a trooper.
Caleb [38:23]: I mean. And Justin also has stories with that car.
Justin [38:29]: What, on the Dragon?
Caleb [38:31]: Yep, on the Dragon.
Justin [38:32]: Chased down by that fricking brick. Oh, imagine. Imagine seeing in your mirror like, you know the, the shock that just basically every very cocky, very good driver on initial D has when they see the 86 in their mirror. Like how that’s sort of the. Just picture that happening when I’m in an IS 300 on like pilot Sport Fours or something.
Caleb [39:09]: I think you’re on Super Sports.
Justin [39:11]: Yeah, Pilot Super Sports. Trying to, trying to outrun this Volvo and I can’t, man.
Caleb [39:20]: And man, this thing was in a Regina car.
Geno [39:27]: All hundred and twenty horsepower of it. On a good day.
Caleb [39:30]: On a good day, you know, like 100 some odd horsepower at the crane. Not even the wheels and your cup.
Justin [39:41]: Of water didn’t even spill.
Caleb [39:44]: And that car was awesome. And like I had like two canoes in the back of it because you know, were going out canoeing. I’m telling you, it was the overload springs and the IPD Sways that did it.
Geno [40:00]: I don’t remember put the overloads on. I don’t remember having overloads on it. I did put on IPD Sways.
Caleb [40:06]: You had overloads on it. I’m pretty sure.
Geno [40:08]: Possible I didn’t put them there.
Caleb [40:10]: Yeah, it’s. I don’t know. The rear was real well planted. Like it was had just right balance of twitch and stability.
Geno [40:19]: That car with the miles it had no business being as capable as it was.
Caleb [40:26]: Yeah, and I mean 740Treadwear Michelin defenders, you know, we’re talking the ones with the 90,000 warranty.
Geno [40:37]: Those are the ones I sold it to you with.
Caleb [40:39]: Yeah, you sold it to me with those tires. And you also threw a set of snow tires in too.
Geno [40:45]: You remember that?
Caleb [40:46]: Yeah, but yeah, it had the mesh ones complete with the tires.
Justin [40:50]: I’m glad you didn’t run me down on the. I’m glad you didn’t run me down on the snow tires. That would have been, that would have been bad.
Caleb [40:57]: Oh man.
Geno [40:59]: Died of embarrassment.
Caleb [41:01]: Yeah. So at the time I bought the Swagon, which is what we kind of nicknamed it. So I had this wagon. I had just sold the 122. No, I still had the 122. I just sold the Fiat. I had the Mazda 3, which it was lowered on. I had the cork sport springs and sways, all that stuff. And you know, had an exhaust dead tuning on it. And I had a straight popped Volvo 740 sedan that I drove back and forth to work on Fort Leavenworth because I was living, you know, about 20 minutes outside of Leavenworth, Kansas at the time. And the exhaust on this 740, it came out the exhaust manifold and dumped right behind the right front tire.
Caleb [42:02]: And I remember, I kid you not, I was pulling up on post one day because I was working as a contractor on post and I have just this pissed off young MP running at me. And you know, I got my windows down because it’s a Volvo, the heater will roast you out this middle of January or so. I got me windows down, I have this MP running out yelling at me to turn the damn thing off because it’s so loud he can’t think straight. And that was a good car. And that was the best $250 I ever spent on a car. I’m telling you. What, no. And the best $200 car I ever had was my first Volvo, which was an 85740 Turbo.
Justin [43:01]: My only Volvo shenanigans are the year after the Peugeot. At ux, me and my friends scraped together some money and bought a gold Volvo 740 sedan with some chrome wheel covers on it, which was fun. We bought it for $740 while were down there. Like first night were down there, we brainstormed, we looked on Facebook, marketplace. We like the, we drove up like same night we drove up to South Carolina like an hour away and we bought this damn Volvo. Like I said, we split it like four or five ways or something and it was only $740. Actually it was I think more like 700 or 650. But were like, we’re gonna give you $740 just because that’s how much we want to give you for this car. Because it’s a 740.
Caleb [44:01]: Because it’s a meme. Because.
Justin [44:03]: Because it’s a meme. And I ran it, drove it was Fine. It wasn’t great, but it was fine. We didn’t, I, I, we didn’t like register it or anything. We just kind of drove it around and didn’t get pulled over somehow, even though were doing stupid with it. We, we took it to like the show area on Hutchinson island and we kind of drove it back in like a, like down a dirt road or like a sandy dirt road. And were coming back and there was a cop just like watching. We were like. And yeah, no, somehow did not ever get pulled over in it. Even though, like I said it basically I don’t recall it ever being registered or anything. We just kind of bought it, had the title and drove around with the title.
Caleb [44:50]: I mean, they usually give us a couple days to tag it.
Justin [44:54]: We had just bought it. So it technically was in the gray area of being fine. And we sold it like two days later, like the last day of the show. We sold it to somebody at the show for $740 after getting third place in the car limbo contest by shoving like 20 people in the car and like another like 10 people on the hood in the trunk. I’m pretty sure it was absolutely fantastic. $740. 740 Was pretty fun. It’s pretty fun.
Caleb [45:30]: Sure. We, well, we all have Volvo shenanigans stories. Like you with that one. I’ve, man, I’ve just, I’ve had enough of them and I’ve driven them far enough to have stories.
Justin [45:45]: I got plenty.
Caleb [45:47]: There’s a, like, I will eventually talk about my last 240 that I had before leaving the US because that car was special. Like, it was dumb, but it was special as a lot of the great ones are. No, I’m just, and I’m thinking like, even the ones I haven’t owned, I’ve got some stories like I have to tell about the time my Uncle Bob and I went down to, oh, I think it was Valdosta, Georgia to pick up a 244 classic. Like still had the factory basket weaves and everything. Good old Valdosta. And it was cheap, man. It was like 500 bucks. And we drove down and I drove Uncle Bob down and he drove it back because he was a friend of his was looking for a 240 and she was very insistent it had to be a 240.
Caleb [47:04]: And we found a classic and we drove down, we brought it back and it was an adventure. And like, he went through, he restored it with the pearl red paint. Everything. Like it looked like it rolled out of his showroom when he was done. And if stupidity had not happened to that car, I would have bought it instead of the one I actually bought for my last. As my last 240 in the US but that is another story. The one that got away. Well, that one was an intentional let it get away because it was about 10 years after the restoration and a lot of dumb decisions were made. Like, oh, instead of a car, you know, putting, instead of fixing the cam seal leak, we’re gonna put like that extra heavy duty, you know the snake oil they sell at the parts house.
Geno [48:11]: Oh Jesus.
Justin [48:16]: Lucas oil. Throw some Lucas Oil in her.
Caleb [48:20]: But like two quarts of Lucas in a four quart system.
Justin [48:25]: Yeah, that’ll fix it right up. That’s a whole engine rebuild kit.
Caleb [48:29]: Anyway, it was. And what makes me sad about that one is it was such a beautiful car. When it was done, it was redwood chair definition stage zero. Like we are talking. The paint was perfect, suspension perfect, ordered the proper Bilsteins, everything mint. It was perfect. And over 10 years of being maintained by idiots, that car was ruined. And I’m a little ticked about it. What a shame. I’d have been the one who drove Uncle Bob all the way down Georgia to pick the thing up. And you know, I put some time in, you know, chasing down parts, chasing down new old stock E codes. So like I literally chased down E codes for this car before. You know, before VP Auto Parts was actually selling them in the US And I chased down new ones from Europe for this car.
Caleb [49:41]: Like that was I chased down new old stock tail lights, you know, helping Uncle Bob restore this car. Damn. Yeah. I mean when I say it was redwood chair level perfect, I mean it was redwood chair level perfect. I’m a little ticked about that one and what happened to that car. Because it would have been, that would have been an amazing last 240 before leaving the country. And now I live in a country where they never even sold them.
Justin [50:25]: I didn’t even realize that I have.
Caleb [50:27]: Only found one rear drive Volvo for sale since I’ve been in this country. And it’s about a thousand miles south of me and it’s a 960 sedan.
Geno [50:44]: Nice.
Caleb [50:45]: It is a very nice place to sit for a long period of time. But it ain’t a red block.
Geno [50:53]: No, it’s not. But boy are they nice to sit in.
Caleb [50:57]: This is true. You know, I almost bought a 95960 wagon at one point. And the thing that Made me back away from it. Well, two things. One is it felt gutless compared to the turbo wagon I just got out of.
Justin [51:15]: Yeah.
Caleb [51:17]: And no one could tell me when the timing belt had been changed. Which on a white lock, knowing that I had 670 miles to get home, I wasn’t so willing to take that risk of bending 24 valves. That damn it was pretty. Those.
Justin [51:35]: It’s reminding me how worried I am about my timing belt in my car.
Caleb [51:41]: Yeah.
Justin [51:42]: I mean supposedly it was changed in 2024 but I don’t have the best documentation on that.
Caleb [51:48]: Yeah, it’s. I really want another rear drive Volvo and I don’t know if I’m going to get one while living in Brazil but you know, I may end up with a Volkswagen Brasilia instead. I mean that could be a very awesome.
Justin [52:10]: That’d be something.
Caleb [52:12]: I have a Brasilia or there is also the variant which that was a. It was basically a 9, 8 scale Brasilia. So just a little bit bigger than Brasilia, a little bit wider, had a little bit more power and was just a little bit more comfortable. But if you look at them, if you don’t park them side by side, you can’t tell that it’s not a Brasilia. If I can find one of those in good shape, I’m thinking one of those and put one of the electric air conditioner kits in it. Because my wife has made it extremely clear we are not living in Rio de Janeiro without air conditioning of the car. I would suffer through it because I’ve done it before and I’ll do it again.
Caleb [53:10]: But I am not going to make her do it because she’s already made that clear she ain’t doing was bad enough. Living in Argentina with weak air conditioning in the Alpha like yeah, it wasn’t great but it would take the edge off at least and she already didn’t like that. But that Alpha was a good car though. Spent almost as much time with a mechanic as it did with me. But I mean it’s an Alpha.
Justin [53:47]: That’s what you gotta expect out of it, man. But you do gotta get something with killer ac.
Caleb [53:53]: Absolutely. I do love General Motors.
Justin [53:56]: AC though usually works pretty well. Yeah.
Caleb [54:01]: Ford to General Motors, their AC is just next level. Like they have God theories.
Justin [54:11]: My.
Geno [54:11]: Yeah, I had a 88 Bonneville and that was glorious in the summer.
Justin [54:17]: Yeah, I guess I can think back to the 09 impala I’ve had a decent amount of experience with and that thing had pretty good ac.
Caleb [54:27]: Like you know, weirdly enough the Car I have owned with the best air conditioning was my Honda inside. My inside. Huh. It would freeze you out like it was. It was on the same tier as my Roadmaster. Like, it had the same level of cold coming out the vents as my Roadmaster did, but in a way smaller package. They got 70 miles a gallon. So that’s why the inside edge is out, the Roadmaster, because, I mean, Roadmaster is amazing. But if you got the same level of AC and something that has 60 horsepower and get 70 to the gallon, I’m gonna take the 60 horsepower and 70 to the gallon. Yeah. All day. And I think that. I think we’re at a pretty good wrapping point, so I’d say. So I think we got plenty of.
Caleb [55:38]: Plenty of tape here to work with, something like that. All right, any closing messages for our listeners?
Geno [55:48]: I think we repeat, check your oil. It’s probably low.
Justin [55:52]: Yeah,.
Caleb [55:56]: And.
Justin [55:57]: And honestly, with.
Caleb [55:59]: With.
Justin [55:59]: With.
Caleb [56:00]: I haven’t.
Justin [56:01]: I. I haven’t had any oil issues recently. I haven’t seen anyone with any real oil issues recently. I’ve seen mostly coolant issues. So you know what? I’m going to revise it to check your coolant. it’s probably low.
Caleb [56:13]: You know, weirdly enough, the day that we recorded the first episode, a friend of mine down here has a Kia Karen’s, which is the local equivalent of a Rondo, and he literally got home, put in, you know, his apartments, parking garage, got out of it, and the thing literally had started pissing oil all over the parking garage about halfway down the ramp down to his parking space. So, yeah, you should probably check your oil. Right?
Justin [56:49]: Check your oil and check your coolant.
Caleb [56:51]: Just.
Justin [56:51]: Just check your fluids.
Caleb [56:52]: Yeah, check your fluids. If you ain’t changed your brake fluid recently, it’s probably due.
Justin [56:58]: Yeah, that for sure.
Caleb [57:01]: So if anyone’s got any questions, comments, or just general commentary over the podcast or, you know, if you just want to write us a letter and tell us how much you love us and. Or hate us, please send an email to Mailbag. That is, mailbag@irohpodcast.com I repeat, mailbag@irohpodcast.com and on that note, I am Caleb.
Geno [57:34]: And I’m Geno,
Caleb [57:34]: and we wish you all a good week. Bye.