Episode 0 Transcript: Weird Cars Pt. 1
The International Race of Hammpions Episode 0 - Weird Cars, Pt 1
Caleb [00:01]: Good evening and welcome to the International Race of Hammpions. Coming to you live from where you get your podcasts. Tonight’s debut episode, Weird Cars Part one. I’m here with my co host Justin, and we are going to go into the weird and wonderful vibes of weird cars. So. Hey, what’s up?
Justin [00:32]: I’m Justin, I’m here. And we’re gonna. Yeah, we’re gonna talk about some weird cars and some other. I don’t know, we’re probably gonna go on some tangents and things and yeah, hopefully this podcast goes to a good place.
Caleb [00:45]: So we are definitely in the ADHD category of podcasters. So I’m going to put that disclaimer in now. So.
Justin [00:56]: So as hell.
Caleb [00:59]: All right.
Justin [00:59]: So for me at least.
Caleb [01:01]: Likewise. So the Red Bull on my desk is a self medication.
Justin [01:05]: I had a, I had a. You know what? I only had one white monster today, which is, that’s, that’s a low amount of caffeine for me.
Caleb [01:14]: You know, that’s pretty good for a recovering GTI driver.
Justin [01:22]: You know what? I, I can’t even argue with that. No, but yeah, I mean, sure, you could say that, but no, it’s really just like you’re saying the self medication, ADHD type shit helps me focus at work and stuff.
Caleb [01:41]: So I think a good intro for our listeners would be maybe like a quick overview of what you are currently piloting. And since you’re the current only person on this podcast with a car, I’ll let you take it off.
Justin [01:58]: All right. I have a weird car. I have made some unfortunate financial decisions and purchased a 1997 Nissan Stagia RS4V. Specifically the V off of Facebook Marketplace. Back about what it was like August or something last year. So like eight months ago. Something like not quite a year, but I’ve had it for a while. It’s. Yeah, it’s fucking awesome, but it’s a pain in the ass at the same time. For sure. It is. I guess I’ll just like describe it fully. It’s like a pearl white, but the paint is not fan. Well, the paint’s all right in most of it, but the passenger side, which because it’s right hand drive is the left side of the car. Passenger side has a lot of clear coat like chipped off and just complete like big spots of clear coat that are just like completely fucking missing.
Justin [03:03]: And the roof rails are like painted black, but a lot of that black chipped off on the sort of trim part on the bottom that actually is like on the roof. It sort of chipped off, looked like shit. It was chrome under it for that. Did not fit with the black plastic roof rail above it, so. Or any of the trim. There’s like no chrome on the car except the badges, basically. I mean maybe like there’s a little around the grill. There’s like some. But it’s minor. I, I just kind of like chipped all the rest of it off and plastidipped it which is pretty embarrassing. But from 20ft it looks fine. You know, it’s better than it was. That’s basically the whole car right now. It’s better than it was, but it’s still kind of. It’s a little bit rough.
Justin [03:52]: Mechanically it’s okay, especially for a 30 year old car basically. But yeah, cosmetically it’s a little rough. The side skirts are kind of hanging off some other shit. It could use like a good cosmetic touch up. But other than that like it’s a peach. It doesn’t have much rust. I mean it has some rust. They all have some rust.
Caleb [04:16]: No.
Justin [04:17]: Yeah.
Caleb [04:17]: What, what is this much rust by Midwestern standards or Tennessee standards?
Justin [04:23]: Tennessee standards.
Caleb [04:25]: All right.
Justin [04:26]: Not Midwestern standards. Midwestern standard. The midwesterners that I’ve seen have been like, that ain’t shit. But so basically it’s got some on the rear quarter panels sort of where the fender connects to the bumper or the quarter panel connects to the bumper. There’s just like water pools there. It’s not too bad, but you can see it externally. It’s got like some under the mirrors, whatever. So it’s just barely there. It’s got some surface rust here and there underneath it that got spray painted over because you know the fucking JDM auction special where they just fucking black spray paint the whole underside of the car with. No, just fine.
Caleb [05:15]: It’ll be fine.
Justin [05:16]: It’s fine. It’ll be fine. The purple lowering springs that it has have black spray paint chipping off of them. I was like, oh shit, they’re purple. I have lowering springs. Whoa. Oh my God. I didn’t know.
Caleb [05:30]: No, I guess this is probably, I’d say this is probably a good segue into my most recent vehicle.
Justin [05:38]: Yeah.
Caleb [05:41]: I recently moved from Argentina to Brazil and as part of this I sold my 1997 Alfa Romeo 155 and I bought it May of last year, sold it in December, and in that time it spent four months with the local alpha specialist waiting on Parts. So very typical alpha owning experience, but a beautiful car. Except for, you know, that spot where the paint was missing.
Justin [06:21]: Don’t worry about it.
Caleb [06:23]: Left rear.
Justin [06:24]: It’s fine. Don’t worry about it. Don’t worry about it.
Caleb [06:25]: It’s fine on the right front corner of the hood. But it was fine. It was fine.
Justin [06:31]: Yeah, it’s fine. It’s fine. Especially in that. Especially in that climate. It’s not gonna. It’s not gonna rest anymore. It’s fucking fine.
Caleb [06:37]: Yeah, it’s. I mean, car was absolute dream to drive. I loved it. And kind of segueing, you know, talking about things that rust here on the Brazilian side. I recently went to look at a Ford car which just has seen, like we have talked about this.
Justin [07:01]: I love the Ford car. I first experienced it Gran Turismo, like probably two or some shit.
Caleb [07:07]: Yep.
Justin [07:08]: It’s a fantastic little bean of a car.
Caleb [07:10]: Yeah, it is a absolute joy of a jelly bean. Except for the one I looked at.
Justin [07:16]: I hear they all rust out, at least in Europe.
Caleb [07:21]: So they rust in Brazil too.
Justin [07:23]: That’s. That seems to be a. That seems a little harder to do.
Caleb [07:27]: So the thing. So what they do is they collect moisture behind the fuel filler. And what ends up happening is the left rear fender just rots out of them. Ooh.
Justin [07:39]: So it’s not even a weather thing. It’s just a fucking. The inherent design issue.
Caleb [07:45]: Yeah. And anyway, of course, you know, they took all the beautiful golden hour pictures of it, you know, and they’re like only 60,000 kilometers. Well, buddy, you got a five digit odometer. Based on the rest of the car, it’s probably more like 360,000.
Justin [08:06]: Seeing a rolled over odometer in a hot minute.
Caleb [08:10]: This gets better. It gets so much better. It had been very clearly hit in the right front and repaired badly. And then, you know the real. You know how like the sleazy used car dealers do where they make the engine bay look shiny? Yeah, it had that. But whatever they used to make it shiny had like a little sticky overspray on it. Ew.
Justin [08:37]: Ew. The weird. The shitty silicone.
Caleb [08:42]: Oh yeah, this was. And mind you, we’re talking about. Oh yeah. And they were asking about a thousand Brazilian reage. So about 200 bucks above book value.
Justin [08:53]: Yeah.
Caleb [08:55]: And no, they had used just whatever cheap silver paint was lying around to spray over rust. And after a quarter on this thing, it was all Bondo. This damn thing had rust bubbles on the roof. How do you get rust bubbles on a roof?
Justin [09:15]: How is it? I Can imagine. Okay, so like I’m just imagining cars in Brazil don’t rust nearly as badly as a. Is a more winter climates with the worst winter. So I understand. Yeah. In coastal areas and stuff you can still get corrosion and stuff. Like in America, you know, Florida and whatnot.
Caleb [09:30]: But I’m definitely on the coast, so.
Justin [09:34]: Yeah, but how is it. Is that just like an exceptionally. What the fuck? Sort of rusty car?
Caleb [09:41]: This was just kind of a wtf.
Justin [09:43]: Terrible. Yeah.
Caleb [09:45]: And the part that was great is I could tell they just used whatever silver paint was lying around because. To give it like, you know, real fast respray.
Justin [09:57]: Yeah.
Caleb [09:58]: Because there was a Sherry, which. Sherry is a Chinese brand.
Justin [10:05]: Yeah, I’ve heard of them.
Caleb [10:07]: And anyway, whereas I used Sherry, the same folks had. Same lot had it parked right next to it that was the exact same damn shade of silver.
Justin [10:16]: Suspicious, you know. You know, that’s, that’s just like the. The Japanese auction spray paint special. You know, just spray it silver. Just, just, you know, rattle it.
Caleb [10:29]: Black gamer. Mo Earl shot pretty much. Yeah.
Justin [10:33]: Yeah, the fucking Doug justice special. I mean, you know. Doug Justice.
Caleb [10:42]: Yep. Goody. Oh, man.
Justin [10:47]: Shout out. Shout out. Shout out. Alcoa. Shout out. Fucking shout out. Doug Justice. I used to be his neighbor. Legit. I used to be his neighbor.
Caleb [10:58]: Jesus Christ. I never met him, but you know, bless his heart.
Justin [11:07]: Yeah, bless his heart. Rusted out Subarus. That’s his specialty, I can tell you right now.
Caleb [11:15]: So, you know, went looked at. That was not great. I intended to go look at a Fiat a few hours away up in Belarus. Anchi.
Justin [11:27]: And in the. In the. In the where.
Caleb [11:30]: So the city is named Bello Horizonte, which literally translates to beautiful horizon.
Justin [11:35]: Okay, so it’s like a silent H. Yeah. Okay, I can picture it.
Caleb [11:41]: So the problem with the trilingual life, but. And you know, it’s kind of hard to say things in Brazilian Portuguese with an accent like this.
Justin [11:55]: You know, I’ve like suppressed my southern accent. I should really. I should let it flow. I feel more comfortable with it.
Caleb [12:02]: Let it flow. Let the.
Justin [12:03]: I gotta let it. I gotta let it flow.
Caleb [12:06]: Anyway, my wife and I went up there to look at a little Fiat and.
Justin [12:11]: Fucking Fiat. Wait, what kind of Fiat was it? A Uno?
Caleb [12:15]: No, it was a Palio, which is basically like about a level above. About a size above. Okay, okay.
Justin [12:25]: So sort of almost like a Punto.
Caleb [12:27]: Yeah.
Justin [12:28]: Okay.
Caleb [12:29]: That size.
Justin [12:30]: I can catch the vibe.
Caleb [12:32]: So. Well, how was it if a guy never showed? So this is a cultural commonality when going to look at a used car. Sometimes the guy just never shows.
Justin [12:45]: Yeah, that’s about right. Okay, so I adhd. Like, you’re to jump off of saying that this is going to be ADHD as hell. I ADHD the hell out of whatever the hell I was gonna say. But I just remembered something funny to talk about. And it’s not weird cars, but it’s funny. And I have a. I have a. Well, it’s funny, but it’s also fucking awful. I have a roommate and he has a Mustang that he just bought like a month ago and maybe a little more than a month ago at this point.
Caleb [13:20]: So how many crowds has he killed yet?
Justin [13:22]: None. Okay, okay, let me just context. This guy’s not a car guy. He’s driven my car and he kind of like, has gotten the world’s most mildly car pilled. He’s like, you know, I kind of.
Caleb [13:40]: Want a fun car.
Justin [13:41]: You know what I’m saying?
Caleb [13:42]: Yep. So automatic V6 Mustang.
Justin [13:45]: Automatic EcoBoost Mustang. Okay, but, but here’s the context behind it. You know, what car he came from.
Caleb [13:58]: I’m going to guess something in the inexpensive Anaconda box variety. Wait, wait.
Justin [14:03]: Okay, I’m not, I, I’m. I refuse to dox my roommate, so I’m not gonna say anything about his name or anything. So no one will know who this is. So I feel more comfortable saying what kind of person he is.
Caleb [14:17]: Right.
Justin [14:21]: This man is 29, he’s my age, and he is a. He works at a care facility for the mentally disabled run by a church. But he’s not like. I mean, he’s sort of religious, I suppose, but he’s not like he doesn’t go to church or anything. And he doesn’t go to this church or anything. He just is working for them.
Caleb [14:53]: Right.
Justin [14:54]: But yeah, he cares for them. The mentally disabled or whatever the proper term for it is.
Caleb [15:03]: And.
Justin [15:06]: He is a big dork. He’s very neurodivergent, and he is a furry. Oh, and he’s gay. What car did, what car did he drive?
Caleb [15:18]: Based on this car. Oh, oh, oh.
Justin [15:21]: And this has nothing to do with why he has the car, but this actually, this is a good hint that might help you guess what car it is. He has like a 45 minute commute.
Caleb [15:32]: Ooh, that one might be tough.
Justin [15:35]: It’s good for a 45 minute commute.
Caleb [15:37]: So it’s gonna be some sort of hybrid.
Justin [15:39]: You’re onto something.
Caleb [15:40]: So the real Question is, I would guess probably somewhere around Camry hybrid or maybe a Prius.
Justin [15:47]: Let me give you another hint because it’s not those. I think it’s either a 2012 or 2013 C max. You’re heading in a better direction. It is American, but it is not. It was a goddamn Chevy Volt Maroon.
Caleb [16:04]: You know, the Volt was a perfectly cromulent vehicle.
Justin [16:08]: I was driving from the middle of Ohio to the north of Ohio and it was about a two hour drive because my roommate bought the Mustang in Columbus and he’s like, could you drive the fucking Volt back for me? And I was like, yeah, I got you. I would have done it anyway. But also he did the same thing for me when I got the stagia. So I was very obligated. So because I got the stagia.
Caleb [16:37]: I got you, bro. You got me?
Justin [16:39]: Yeah, yeah, I got the stagia in fricking Dayton. So you know, that’s also. Actually, that probably was a farther drive, but nonetheless I had to drive the Volt like 2ish hours back and on the highway. It’s great. And honestly like I, I didn’t yeet it too much, but it does have that, it does have instant torque. But then it like once you get to like 35, 40, it’s like you’re done. It’s not very fast after that, but it does, you know, it does get up to like 35, like real quick at least. The thing that I’ve, the thing that sat the most with me, the thing that stuck the most with me from driving the Volt is that it feels solid as hell. It is really. It feels heavy but athletic.
Justin [17:37]: It feels like heavy but it holds, it knows how to hold the weight well because all the weight is really, really low down because it’s got the. I think it has a skateboard battery, right? I don’t remember first gen. Not either way. Yeah, maybe the first gen doesn’t, but either way it feels like all the weight is super, super low down. So the thing feels ridiculously planted even on some fricking two mid ass like nexen all seasons on the front and then like two random ass summer tires on the back, which that was.
Caleb [18:13]: That’s.
Justin [18:13]: Yeah, there’s this whole story behind that. But whatever the situation I remember the most is I yeeted it around a roundabout and it just stuck like the thing just did. There’s no body roll, like it just plants itself and the steering is numb. But it’s at least confidence inspiring. So it’s a nice car to drive. Like the Fold is great. I kind of like it a lot actually. It’s really good.
Caleb [18:43]: I mean as far as things that are shockingly athletic to drive. I rented a Nissan Rogue one time.
Justin [18:58]: Really?
Caleb [18:59]: Which is for those who don’t have not experienced one. The Rogue is basically the altima of SUVs.
Justin [19:08]: I mean I rented an Altima once and it was better than I expected. And I’m the world’s biggest Nissan hater. So like take that with some actual like, I mean that.
Caleb [19:19]: Anyway, I ran this thing cause I had flown up for a friend’s wedding and very long story short, were running late getting to. I was with a friend and were running a little bit late getting to the rehearsal dinner for our friend and I kicked the tail out on a Nissan Rogue.
Justin [19:40]: Hell yeah.
Caleb [19:42]: So.
Justin [19:44]: That’s amazing. That’s amazing.
Caleb [19:48]: And the entire rest of the trip we referred to this thing as the Drift Rogue.
Justin [19:53]: Yeah, I mean if it’s doing that, like damn.
Caleb [19:56]: I mean it was. And the sport button did nothing.
Justin [19:59]: That sounds about right. Now the, the Ultima I rented was probably like a 25 or some shit and it was perfectly fine. It, I, it had, I think, I don’t even know if it had a cvt. I think it did, but it was like one of the less offensive CVTs I’ve driven. I’ve driven plenty of Kia CVTs that suck.
Caleb [20:23]: Yeah.
Justin [20:24]: So like it really wasn’t. It was, it was comfortable, it was quiet on the highway. Like I had to take it on like an eight hour trip. Like it wasn’t bad. Or maybe a five. No, it was more like a five hour trip still.
Caleb [20:35]: Yeah, it’s a vehicle.
Justin [20:39]: Yeah, it was fine. I almost enjoyed it.
Caleb [20:43]: Yeah. I had a Kicks as a rental a few weeks ago and it was fine. I would say probably the nice thing is unlike the US market, the Brazilian market Kicks the gets a dual clutch.
Justin [21:01]: Really?
Caleb [21:02]: Yeah, it gets a dual clutch, six speed.
Justin [21:06]: Is it a different engine?
Caleb [21:09]: It’s like that one liter turbo. Whatever that Nissan has might be the same.
Justin [21:17]: I don’t actually know what the engine and the Kicks is. Shit. You know we had one. I work in a parts department at a fucking Kia dealership and we had a Nissan Kicks used car and I looked, I had to look up parts for it and I should have. I probably saw what engine it had, but I, I don’t remember.
Caleb [21:33]: And like, they did just come out with a new generation last year, so. Yeah, the one.
Justin [21:39]: Yeah, no, it was a. Yeah, I think it was like a 23 or something.
Caleb [21:45]: 22. So it was first gen. Yeah. Like, it’s a crommy vehicle. I don’t like.
Justin [21:52]: Or was it.
Caleb [21:53]: This is my rant. Push button gear selector should not be a thing. Yeah, I have an automatic transmission and you’re gonna make and you’re gonna put in the gear. What I really want is a big freaking lever sticking out the. Out of the steering column that I can just yank down.
Justin [22:15]: No columns. Column shift is where it’s at. Column shift is where it’s at. My. My dad’s 99 expeditions got a column shifter and that. That shit slaps. I had to fix it one time because it. The gearing for the column, like the plastic gears and shit for the column shifter broke, so I had to, like, get a whole new. Maybe I, I think maybe it wasn’t gears. Maybe it was a cable. Either way, I had to get a new part of some sort and I fixed it and it was great.
Caleb [22:41]: Yeah. No, I missed my Roadmaster, which we will talk about in a future episode.
Justin [22:46]: Yeah, no, and I, I, I miss my gti, which we will talk about probably in a future episode because it’s not really weird, but I miss it.
Caleb [22:57]: Yeah. And now in terms of your is too.
Justin [23:02]: Yeah. I almost always glance over my fucking. Is. Is that weird? I guess, like, today it’s kind of rare. I don’t know if I’d say it’s weird, like.
Caleb [23:15]: Well, I will say that on a future episode, we will talk about your is 300. And we will also talk about how I ran said is 300 down in a naturally aspirated Volvo 940 station wagon with a bunch of crap in the back of it. I think I had like a canoe or two in the back of it. You know, buddy of ours, you know, and then 740 Treadwear Michelin defenders.
Justin [23:49]: 740 Over here is on pilot.
Caleb [23:52]: Super sports.
Justin [23:53]: Look, I was young. I didn’t know what I was doing. Automatic is 300 noob shit. You know, I was. When I was running the GTI before I stopped doing it because just I got safety concerns and stuff. I was getting. I was mature and I was like, this is dumb. I stopped going as hard. I’ll still run the Dragon. Like, I want to run it again, but, like, not hard. Yeah, I got a ticket. Like, I. Admittedly, I got a tick. I got a ticket too. So doing it.
Caleb [24:24]: So.
Justin [24:26]: So that slowed me down on it as well as other things that I don’t need to discuss on here.
Caleb [24:34]: Yeah, but.
Justin [24:37]: Yeah, freaking. Yeah, the gti, that thing. I ran a lot harder up there once I got more experienced and the. Yeah, I. The is I was probably going like 3, 10, you know, like.
Caleb [24:53]: Yeah.
Justin [24:53]: But since then, it sucks up here in Ohio. I got no curvy roads. Like the best I got is like fricking a quarter of a mile of slight curves and like slight inclines. Yeah, I mean, look, there’s. There’s some okay places to drive, but they’re not. Most of them are not close to where I’m.
Caleb [25:13]: And I think we’re actually at a pretty good stopping point for our first episode. So y’ all gotta ramble a little bit.
Justin [25:21]: We haven’t even talked about any really weird cars.
Caleb [25:24]: Oh, man. Well, I guess we’ll have to redo the title on the fly.
Justin [25:28]: Yeah, the title will just be intro Ramblings or something.
Caleb [25:32]: Yep. Introduction to Rambling.
Justin [25:35]: Yeah, yeah. No, but like we gotta really get into weird cars because I’ve had a friggin Peugeot 505, I’ve had a Z31, a clapped out Z31 Nissan Z. I’ve had. I have a Stagia right now. Gti, A Rabbit. Have I had anything else? Oh, I mean, I was a partial owner of a Volvo 740.
Caleb [25:58]: I’ve had a couple of them.
Justin [25:59]: So like we gotta. Yeah, we gotta get into some actual weird car discussion.
Caleb [26:05]: I think I may have you beat for weirdest car between one of the. Between the two of us.
Justin [26:12]: Honestly, I’d believe. Yeah, I buy that. But what is it?
Caleb [26:16]: Tooth. Inside. Okay.
Justin [26:17]: Yeah, the inside’s pretty weird. Yeah. Is that weirder than a Peugeot?
Caleb [26:23]: I don’t know if it’s in the.
Justin [26:25]: Us in the States.
Caleb [26:27]: Yeah, My scale of weird is a little off because I see Peugeots every day.
Justin [26:32]: Yeah. But in the States, like I’ve seen an Insight once in a blue moon. I’ve never ever in my life ever seen another Peugeot 505.
Caleb [26:41]: My Uncle Bob, bless his heart, had three of them at one point.
Justin [26:47]: Well, I think I’ve seen one in a musee, actually. No, I’ve never seen another Peugeot 505 in person. What the hell? Mine was clapped,.
Caleb [27:01]: So. And on that note, we will start planning our second episode and it might come to you. Sometimes maybe it’ll be about my.
Justin [27:12]: Yeah, maybe it’ll be about my Peugeot road trip or something.
Caleb [27:15]: I think that should be good. I think the Gaelic lion road trip.
Justin [27:20]: Yeah.
Caleb [27:23]: So on that note, we will leave you. We’ll leave y’. All. And don’t forget to check out our sponsor, Dewey, Cheatham and Howe Law Attorneys at Law. Do we cheat them? And, oh, how do we.
Justin [27:37]: Don’t forget to check your oil level. It’s probably low.