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Episode 15: It's a Saab Story, Doncha Know
In which the tales continue from The Beyond and The Lake...and the DMV saga finally ends
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Speaker A
Good morning and welcome to the International Race of Champions, coming to you live from where you get your broadcast. On tonight's episode, we have tales from the beyond, tales from the lake, and of course, tales of bureaucracy. So I'm joined here tonight with Gino.
Speaker B
I'm Caleb.
Speaker A
And of course, the one, the only, the Juice. So let's kick off with Geno's Tales from the Beyond and dealing with Dark Lord Xerox.
Speaker C
Oh boy. Yeah, so I had to, I had to hop off early last week and be accosted by You know, picked up by the flying saucer, was manhandled and anally probed and, you know, all that fun stuff that, you know, in a different situation I might thoroughly enjoy, but—
Speaker B
But it wasn't consensual, so not this time.
Speaker C
Their implements were cold and large.
Speaker B
It's a shame.
Speaker C
I know. Just, uh, honestly, just as much tales of bureaucracy as anything else, but that, uh, that really annoying tinpot dictator sort of bureaucracy you only get through hyper-local politics.
Speaker A
Yeah, you know, like, I hear it's rough though over on, uh, Planet Fuckedwa. So, and, uh, how's old Volvo doing?
Speaker C
You know, it's, uh, it's doing all right. Uh, Travis has started a habit by selling me cars that need starters, but I, uh, I gave the, the solenoid a good couple of taps with, uh, with a mid-sized hammer, and it hasn't given me any trouble since. And I've got the new— well, I've got the starter that I replaced into the last car he sold me, which I've since scrapped. But I kept the new starter. Well, I kept the whole drivetrain when I got rid of it, but the replacement starter is sitting in the garage threateningly.
Speaker A
See, we don't call them hammers these days. We call them kinetic persuasion devices.
Speaker C
Percussive Maintenance Instruments.
Speaker A
Exactly, Instruments of Percussive Maintenance.
Speaker C
Haven't had a chance to deal with the, the rear driver's door that still doesn't open, but I'll get there eventually. I did load the, uh, I did manage to, in a miraculous feat, get the interior door panel off. In one piece without opening the door.
Speaker A
You're bullshitting us.
Speaker C
No, you have to pop the rear seat bottom out and you can just kind of disengage the clips around the edge. It's got to the 3 that slide up from the bottom and you just kind of wiggle and you can kind of work the, uh, the clip that's built into that little red safety light in the door panel.
Speaker A
Right.
Speaker B
Yeah, I mean, I mean, I, I also make up bullshit stories with a lot of unnecessary details in order to make it more believable.
Speaker C
And, uh, and then, uh, Charlize Theron showed up and said I was cute, and I was like, oh lady, I appreciate it, but I'm married.
Speaker A
I mean, that's beautiful. I'm going to argue that I'm more of a Katie McGrath guy myself, but— and that one might be a deep cut.
Speaker C
That popped into my head, and, uh, if I'd had time to think about it, I might've gone with Anne Hathaway.
Speaker B
Who's um? What's um? Oh gosh, what's her name?
Speaker C
Freaking.
Speaker B
I don't know why. No, you know what? I'm not even gonna say it because that's embarrassing.
Speaker C
No, no. Now you gotta.
Speaker A
You gotta, man.
Speaker C
You gotta.
Speaker B
God, what's her name?
Speaker A
Um.
Speaker C
We can cut it out if you're embarrassed about it, but you gotta tell us.
Speaker B
The chick. Because I'm like, because I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, okay. Now I have to think of. Now I have to think of a hot celebrity. The first person I thought of was Zendaya, but I was like, for Zendaya, but then I'm like, I don't know. I don't know if I'm like, no, I gotta think of somebody hotter. I mean, she's hot, but I was like, I gotta—
Speaker C
A little young for me, but like, she is pretty.
Speaker B
Yeah, but then I'm like, I mean, uh, you know, for some reason, you know, the second person that popped in my head was fucking London Tipton.
Speaker C
Who's that?
Speaker A
Ah, I remember.
Speaker C
I know.
Speaker B
What's her actual name? I don't remember, but from that old, uh, from Suite Life of Zack and Cody. Yeah, the Asian girl.
Speaker A
Weeb.
Speaker B
That's why I didn't want to fucking say it. I'm like, oh, what's her fucking name?
Speaker C
Oh, wasn't she in, um, wasn't she in, um, Oh, what's it?
Speaker B
She's been in a few things since.
Speaker A
Yeah.
Speaker B
Brenda Song. Brenda Song. She is 38.
Speaker A
Wow.
Speaker B
What is she? Oh, she was in the last Showgirl. Who is who the hell is she dating?
Speaker A
Macaulay Culkin.
Speaker B
That's right. That's yeah. I was like, I know it's yes. And don't they have wait? They're not dating. They're married, aren't they?
Speaker A
Uh, yeah, they are.
Speaker B
They're married and they have— yep, they're married and they have a kid. Good for them, good for them. Anyway, we got completely off topic there.
Speaker A
Do we ever have a topic on this show?
Speaker B
We kind of fumble, stumble into a topic once we start.
Speaker A
Hey, I mean, that's how all the best morning radio does. Look at the Church of Laszlo.
Speaker B
I mean, uh, where's our— we gotta get our grilling sauce.
Speaker A
Yeah.
Speaker B
Jumbo and Billy in the morning. Uh, uh, uh, oh God, remember back in the day, the freaking bullshit-ass show? Uh, oh God, what was it called? Uh, uh, Cow— not Cow, uh, Ah, I'm struggling thinking tonight.
Speaker A
You don't even—
Speaker B
it's past my bedtime.
Speaker A
See, this is what you get when you drink Coors instead of Bud. You're right.
Speaker B
It's Coors brain. Yep.
Speaker A
However, hams is always approved by this show.
Speaker B
That's true. I need to get me some ham.
Speaker C
I'll pick some up. I'm slumming it with a Schmidt today.
Speaker B
RIP Schlitz.
Speaker C
Again?
Speaker B
Again.
Speaker A
Now see, the Schlitz is what you get when you eat lettuce these days up in the US, apparently.
Speaker C
Meanwhile, we men of culture who eat gas station glizzies—
Speaker B
Rock solid digestive system.
Speaker C
Yeah, get to look down upon those salad eaters with their diarrhea.
Speaker B
Cyclospora, I hardly knew her.
Speaker A
Oh man. No, y'all, it's See, this is one of the reasons I'm glad I live where I live, because I can look up at the mess going on up there and think, yeah, at least the food ain't trying to kill me.
Speaker B
You have a functioning FDA?
Speaker A
Yep, and Visa functions, and Well, Sam's Club sells a Glizzy Roller.
Speaker B
Y'all got Sam's Club down there?
Speaker A
We got Sam's Club.
Speaker C
But no Costco.
Speaker B
Oh my God. Yeah, but at least you got Sam's Club. Balling out.
Speaker A
No, we don't have Costco, but we've got Atacadón, which is very similar to Costco, but no membership fees.
Speaker B
Yeah, but you ain't got— you ain't got BJ's.
Speaker C
I mean, I'm sure some people down there do.
Speaker A
I mean, banned. We do, just not, uh, that kind.
Speaker C
Oh boy, probably call them something weird, some weird Portuguese name down there.
Speaker A
I mean, you know how it is. You know, they start talking to you in Portuguese and before you know it, you are 4 years into marriage and living the time of your life.
Speaker B
You're like, damn, girl, I don't know what you just said, but it was hot. I was talking about how I just had Diarrhea from that cyclospora outbreak. I like—
Speaker C
as far as I can understand, like, the, the average diet down there consists of steak and brigadeiros, neither of which are made with lettuce. So—
Speaker A
I mean, they put a couple, you know, for the lunch, you know, the prato feito, they put a You know, you got a good old mess of beans and rice and, uh, you know, you got your meat and they, they put a little smidgen of lettuce and tomato on top, you know, for, uh, color.
Speaker C
Yeah. But I remember when we got, uh, like last year we got, uh, we got Brigaderos in, in the frozen section at work and some dingus at corporate labeled them as like a traditional Portuguese confection, and Brazil lost its collective mind at us on the internet.
Speaker A
Uh, yes, because—
Speaker C
Because they should have. They were absolutely correct to do so.
Speaker A
The brigadeiro was— actually, this is a kind of cool story. So there was a Brazilian World War II general, because Brazil fought with the Allies in WWII, who was running for political office after the war. And brigadeiro is brigadier general. So one of his supporters came up with the brigadeiro candy right here in the city of Rio de Janeiro to fundraise for his political campaign.
Speaker C
Nice.
Speaker B
Another reason why Brazil is better than Finland.
Speaker A
I mean, we got many reasons.
Speaker C
Uh, I mean, those Finnish long drinks are pretty good. Have you had those?
Speaker B
Oh yeah, I was drinking one of them one time when I had a seizure.
Speaker C
Well, that sounds true.
Speaker B
True story, actually. It wasn't because of the long drink.
Speaker C
They're a little expensive though. I think I might just start buying I gotta just go to the, uh, the Hy-Vee and get a case of Fresca and start mixing gin with it.
Speaker A
For real.
Speaker B
I mean, that would be almost— I mean, probably just as good. Or Squirt. Get you some Squirt. I love it.
Speaker C
I gotta go for the Fresca because I gotta, I gotta shed a few.
Speaker B
All right. No, but long drinks, long drinks are really fucking good. I just haven't had one since then because I'm traumatized. It's been, it's been like a year. I think it might be time to bust it out again.
Speaker C
There's a— when I went down to Kenny's for SE last year— no, earlier this year in the spring. That feels like a lifetime ago. Anyway, when, when, uh, Travis and I went down to Kenny's for SE, there was a kid who flew in from Finland for SE and brought Kenny a bottle of Brenneven. And I would like to someday get my hands on a bottle of that shit.
Speaker B
What is it?
Speaker A
Me too.
Speaker C
It's like the Finnish national liquor, kind of similar to Aquavit, but I could be talking out of my ass.
Speaker B
That's the most fun, fun place to talk out of.
Speaker A
Quite true. I do it all the time.
Speaker C
I learned it from watching the Ace Ventura movies too much as a child. Even that transphobic first one. That has no—
Speaker B
Yeah, that's not H12. No. I've been doing some extreme towing.
Speaker C
Uh, have you towed your 940 in there yet?
Speaker B
940? I don't got no 940.
Speaker A
You got your 944.
Speaker B
It's not mine, unfortunately. Uh, I tried to buy it, but Chris is, uh, he's coming to pick it up this weekend.
Speaker C
What a winner.
Speaker A
Yeah.
Speaker B
Oh well, at least it's getting out of the woods finally. At least it's finally getting out of the woods.
Speaker A
For now.
Speaker B
Yeah, but it's gonna be parked at a car dealership for a while. And then he's gonna put it in his property somewhere. I don't know. Um, but so I've been doing some— well, I, I got, I got a whole bunch of stuff that I've had a busy-ass week. One, I discovered that my first car, uh, Lexus, an '05 Lexus IS300, my sister still drives it. I discovered that The timing belt hasn't been done since I got rid of the car.
Speaker C
Oh.
Speaker B
So, and that was 10 years ago. So guess who's doing a timing belt and water pump on an IS300? This guy.
Speaker C
I guess you.
Speaker B
Um, so that's gonna be coming up here soon. Uh, it's in the mail right now. She ordered the, the parts. Um, Then, um, in the process, I also decided to do a little bit of more, uh, sleuthing on whether my timing belt on the Stagea is ancient or was done in 2024, as I was hoping it was done, and I was told it was done. And there was a sticker— is a sticker in the engine bay that says 2024 on it, and it was right next to another silver sticker that said something about the timing belt. in Japanese. So I was like, yeah, I bet you that's the timing belt sticker. Uh, yeah, I should have gone with my gut feeling when I inspected it the first time, uh, and it looked a bit older than it being like 2 years old. Uh, seemed a little dry rotted. Um, you know, I showed y'all, showed a few other people, they were like, hey, it looks fine-ish. It doesn't look like it's 2 years old, but it looks fine, kind of. It looks drivable. Well, in person it looked a little rougher than that, but I kind of went with what y'all were saying because I was just hoping that was the case. Well, I did a little bit more sleuthing and, uh, I figured out that that sticker that's next to the old timing belt replacement sticker was not a timing belt replacement sticker. It was a freaking friction modifier. It was a sticker that came with some fucking, like, Lucas Oil type shit. So they— yeah, in 2024 they put some fucking Lucas Oil in it, basically. And what did the— what did the timing belt sticker, the actual OE Nissan timing belt replacement sticker next to it say? Well, it said June 2013.
Speaker A
Yeah, that might be a problem.
Speaker B
So the Stagey is parked until I get that replaced.
Speaker C
That makes sense.
Speaker B
Yeah, I'm not risking that one. Oh, I've driven it a lot. I've probably put 10,000 miles on it, uh, since— in a 10— actually 10, 12, maybe even 15,000 miles in it in the past year. Because I've owned it for about a year at this point. Um, I forget exactly how many miles I put on it, but that was all on that timing belt. Yeah, I'm, um, I'm glad it didn't blow up.
Speaker C
Yeah, that'd be bad.
Speaker B
That's an interference motor.
Speaker A
Yeah, I should probably do the timing belt on the Fiat because I do not have a sticker saying when it was done.
Speaker B
Yeah, it's always a good, good— always a good move.
Speaker A
And I have never— I have not pulled the COVID off yet.
Speaker B
I should probably check it.
Speaker C
I trust Travis well enough to know that he would have put a new timing belt on that B230 when he put the cam in it. And I'm pretty sure that cam that's in it does make that B230 into an interference motor now, so Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker A
Which cam?
Speaker C
Uh, RSI Stage 1, if you remember back that far.
Speaker A
I do remember that far, and yes, it is an interference motor now.
Speaker C
I think I'm gonna wind up switching it again here in the not too distant future to probably the IPD Turbo Cam, just because the RSI— like, if it's gonna be my daily, the RSI does not idle well when it's warm out. And it's just gonna be a right pain in the ass in the winter.
Speaker A
Yeah, that might be a good idea.
Speaker B
Yeah. Now I'm, um, oh gosh, I completely— oh, I'm not 100% sure that the RB is an interference motor. I actually, I think I saw it someone say it at some point, but considering every other Japanese '90s Uh, inline-6 is an interference motor. I would be baffled if it wasn't.
Speaker A
Yeah, you should just assume that's a safe assumption.
Speaker B
Nonetheless, I don't want the timing belt snapping even if it's not. But so it's parked up until I get that fixed. So I am instead dailying my dad's, which it's really kind of mine, sort of. I drive it more than he does. Um, 1999 Ford Expedition, 4.6 2-valve XLT, baby. Mod motor all day.
Speaker A
We like the mod motor here. No, the old Fiat. Um, I was gonna say flowing back into a Fiat. Good news is timing belts are cheap, um, at least for those of us who earn in Freedom Bucks. So my plan is I'm gonna run up to— there's a Fiat specialty shop, uh, about 20 minutes away, so about 20 minutes away or so. But running up there, they do a $100 timing belt change using Gates belts, and, uh, yeah, call it done.
Speaker B
Well, shit, if I could do it for $100, I'd just have someone else do it, but, uh, I'm, I'm probably looking at $1,500 to $2,000 that I don't have. So I think I'm doing it myself. And I'm gonna get to— I'm getting to practice on my sister's car first, at least, because I've never done a timing belt.
Speaker A
They're not that hard.
Speaker B
Uh, the harmonic balancer is gonna be a bitch, but well, you got an ugga-dugga? That's the problem. I don't have an ugga-dugga, but I'm gonna have to buy one for this. Or excuse me, I'm gonna make my sister buy one. for me for this. That's my payment. Buy me an Ugga Dugga.
Speaker A
Ugga Dugga all day long.
Speaker B
I mean, I only got Ryobi batteries, but a fucking compact Ryobi will get the job done, I'm sure.
Speaker A
Oh yeah. Yeah. Good news about the Fiat though. Um, it already needs the, uh, crank seal and the cam seal done and the rear main done. And, uh, I smelled a little bit of clutch, uh, last week while I was going to my wife's play because the venue was way up at the top of a real steep hill. So I think I'm gonna have them do a clutch too because, uh, their price for a clutch job is $140 using brand new Fiat OE parts.
Speaker B
Damn, I wish shit was that cheap here.
Speaker C
Yeah, I'm just gonna like we'll just have to start shipping our cars to Brazil to have them fixed.
Speaker B
Yeah, for real. They know how to work on Arby's there. I'm sure they got a big drift scene.
Speaker A
Yeah, there's a couple of them right around São Paulo.
Speaker B
But so no. So the thing with that, I want to I want to say with the expedition. So I haven't been really dailying it dailying it. I haven't really had to go anywhere and the play well except to. Go get parts and stuff for boat maintenance, which I can get into later. But I would I would just take my parents' fucking Kia 2015 Kia Sedona into town when I was doing that. And speaking of timing, I think that thing needs a timing chain or tensioners because one, it's a Kia, and two. It's actually showing signs of it needing tensioners. It's every once in a while not running on 6, like, I— when it's, uh, at idle. Um, one time it almost died on me, and apparently the spark plugs and coil packs and everything are pretty freaking fresh. Um, and the biggest thing that kind of ties everything together that makes me go, I bet you it needs some timing shit done to it, is when you start that thing up And when it's cold, it is rattly as hell.
Speaker A
Yeah, that's time for a— yep, that's time.
Speaker B
Or it's time for them to get a new car, which luckily they're looking.
Speaker C
So.
Speaker A
Yeah, I think it's got about 4 to 5 more months in it.
Speaker B
Well, that's enough to get them back to Florida. So.
Speaker A
But, uh, what you do is you You just put yourself some Lucas in there before you take it to a dealership to trade it in, you're good.
Speaker B
I worked at a Kia dealership. They don't put timing shit as a regular maintenance item because it should theoretically last the life of the engine. It doesn't.
Speaker A
Based on the mileage, the expected lifespan of Kia giving a damn was about 50,000 miles ago.
Speaker B
That's true. It's got 154,000 on it.
Speaker A
So, as I said, the lifetime for the manufacturer is just enough past the warranty where they can say, not my problem, bro.
Speaker B
Yep. So like, I'm like, yeah, Dad, of course the dealership didn't tell you shit about that because they don't give a fuck. It's Kia. Now, the 4.6 also has a timing chain. But I also— and that also has 150,000 miles on it, and it's a '99. But guess what? No signs, no issues, no rattle. It's almost certainly fine because it's a 4.6, baby. Well, yeah, I mean, one of the greatest motors ever made.
Speaker A
Amen.
Speaker B
So I'm not worried about that thing, um, except for Something broke on the damn Expedition today, and it had nothing to do with me towing the damn pontoon boat around all over the place, which it killed. It absolutely killed towing the pontoon boat around it.
Speaker A
The thing—
Speaker B
I love towing with that thing. It is— it, it, it does way better than it has any right to towing shit.
Speaker A
Um, oh yeah, mod motor.
Speaker B
Yeah, mod motor, baby. I mean, and I'm talking up and down super steep hills. The only issue that I'm ever worried about with it is it doesn't weigh all that much. So, uh, like in the grand scheme of things with towing. So when I'm bringing that— dragging that big-ass pontoon boat up and down hills, uh, down boat ramps, etc., um, if I hit any gravel, I'm slipping and it's sliding down the hill. Luckily it hasn't happened, but, uh, I've had a couple of, uh, The clench moments.
Speaker A
Yep. I mean, it happens.
Speaker B
I mean, yeah, I mean, I'm, I'm being careful with it, but, uh, one time on the boat ramp yesterday, I was like, I was like, okay, I'm gonna let off the brake real quick, get off this rock, put the brake back on. That solved— that solved my problem. But I was sliding full on the brake, and I was moving backwards into the water. I was like, oh boy, here goes Expedition's going swimming.
Speaker A
No, see, that's when you're trying to get out of a car payment. Once it's paid off, you don't do that anymore.
Speaker B
Yeah, no, absolutely. The thing's been— they bought it straight up. It hasn't had a car payment. That thing, I don't want to kill that thing. It's the truck. It needs to continue to survive to do truck things. We don't want to buy another truck. I don't want to get another truck. Screw new trucks. I like this thing. I want— I don't want it to go in the drink. But, uh, anyway, um, uh, did one thing to give it a bit of an upgrade today, and also one thing broke on it today in, in all of its, uh, towing and everything. Had nothing to do with towing though. Um, so the thing I purchased this morning, a dash kit for the single DIN radio that's in it, for the, uh, aftermarket single DIN radio that's in it. It's had an aftermarket single DIN radio in it for probably 10 years now with no dash kit. It's just been flopping around in there.
Speaker C
That's the best way.
Speaker B
Yeah, I didn't give a shit. But my dad— it's bugged my dad the entire time, and he was just— he was like, just put the stock right. I'm like, Dad, I can buy a dash kit for $15 on Amazon. In fact, I'm gonna do it right now because I am not getting rid of my Bluetooth. I swear to God, I drive this thing, you don't. Let me have my Bluetooth. You gotta have the Bluetooth. Yeah. He's like, fine. I'm like, okay. Um, so that, that was the upgrade that's coming.
Speaker A
Your dash kit costs more than a radio in my car.
Speaker B
It's only a $20 fricking dual radio.
Speaker A
I mean, my whole radio was $8.
Speaker B
Holy shit.
Speaker A
And it did not need a dash kit and it has Bluetooth.
Speaker B
Hell yeah.
Speaker C
Shit.
Speaker B
So we also bought—
Speaker C
oh, a pack of smokes up here.
Speaker B
Yeah, so also, I actually—
Speaker C
I don't know what the going rate is anymore. I haven't bought a pack of smokes in 20 years.
Speaker B
I think they're like $5, something like that. Um, so, uh, I also bought an aftermarket Single DIN Bluetooth radio for the pontoon boat. Uh, just a fucking $40 marine Pyle.
Speaker A
Um, I mean, they did get the name right.
Speaker B
I love, I love Pyle because they're cheap and shitty, which is exactly— that's a perfect name for something cheap and shitty. It's a fucking pile. But it should do the trick. 50 watts channel. It's got some halfway decent Kenwoods that I put in it years ago. And it actually has a halfway decent, um, Sony head unit in it. It's just, it's a 20-year-old Sony head unit with only FM, AM, and CD. Once again, I said this hoe needs Bluetooth. Now that I'm back at the lake, now that we're actually— I'm— we're actually going to use the damn boat again for the first time in 5 years. Literally, it was on the water. I've done a bunch of maintenance to it, freshened the motor up. It doesn't need a— That That shit is fresh. The freshest timing belt I've ever seen for being probably 10 years old. So I'm like, all right, don't give a shit, timing belt's fine. And that also made me go, yeah, you know what I'm not doing? I'm not dropping the lower unit to replace the impeller, the water pump, because if the timing belt's in that good a shape, I bet you the impeller is also in that good a shape. And lo and behold, we took it out and that thing was pissing Real strong. So I'm not worried about the impeller. I'm not worried about the timing belt. But I did do some fresh fluids in it, and that gear oil was nasty. But it wasn't full of water. It wasn't milky. It was just dirty as shit. So I'm glad I changed it. Made a total mess. I, I now know what not to do. Gonna, gonna throw a $40 Pyle Bluetooth head unit in it and, uh, actually have Bluetooth in the pontoon boat.
Speaker A
Woohoo! Nice, nice party boat.
Speaker C
Love a party barge.
Speaker B
So, uh, that, that's what got ordered on Amazon. But I didn't get to the fact that, uh, a very important thing broke on the Expedition. Not drivability, uh, wise, but safety-wise. Um, I'm, I'm backing the pontoon boat up the, up the gravel, slipping and sliding, making all kinds of crazy angles, rearranging it so I can back it up into the building, right? Because we— it's it's a tight situation and that you have to— I'm a— I'm really good with trailers, but it's, it's a pain to get it in the building. Nonetheless, got it done. Uh, I'm backing it up and, uh, I'm like, some, some, something doesn't seem right here. I'm hitting the brake pedal and nothing's getting any brighter.
Speaker C
Hmm.
Speaker B
Yeah, the brake lights stopped working.
Speaker C
That's not great.
Speaker B
No, tail lights still work with the headlights on, but the brake lights stopped working. And, uh, this happened, uh, about 10, 12 years ago, and it was the brake light switch. Um, so I'm gonna have to fix that again. I don't know why. Maybe they just used a crappy part when they replaced it. Maybe just a fuse went out. I don't know. I have done no diagnosis. I just parked it and said, well, I'll deal with that tomorrow. tomorrow. Um, even if it's the brake light switch though, easiest damn thing in the world to replace. That is a literal 10-minute fix. Not worried about it, but it is annoying that I'm gonna have to do that.
Speaker A
I mean, part of the problem is, you know, all them Motorcraft parts. That's the biggest problem with Fords, all them Motorcraft parts.
Speaker B
Yeah, I don't even know if it's a Motorcraft part because it was, uh, last time it was repaired, it was repaired at a Sears Auto Center.
Speaker A
I hadn't heard that name in a while.
Speaker B
Yeah, actually, 2 years ago it had a full, like, refresh of a whole bunch of shit. Um, brand new spark plugs, brand new spark plug leads, um, all the fluids changed. We're talking transfer case, front, rear diff, everything. Um, brake lines replaced, uh, or at least the soft brake lines, uh, replaced. Um, so like the thing is like mint as shit, but them damn brake lights went out again.
Speaker A
Yeah, it happens.
Speaker B
I mean, it happens.
Speaker A
Then me down here in the land of bureaucracy dealing with, uh, all the fun Fiat stuff. Well, uh, I spent 4 out of 5 days last week down at the old DMV, or Detran is what we call it here. Anyway, rolled up on Monday, ain't got the motor number on the title. First, we got— you gotta wait for the head of the office to type up a letter authorizing you to go 50 yards over there around the corner where the technical inspector Will write up a piece of paper hand to you. You have to take that piece of paper. You have to pay two hundred and nine reais and setenta e oito centavos. So two hundred and nine reais and seventy eight cents for the technical inspection fee, and you have to go and take that paper. Up to a different Detran office because we don't do that process here, and you have to open an administrative process with them. So all right, you know, went and did the thing and paid the fee and scheduled my appointment the next morning at the Detran office in on Avenida Jeromario Dantas and Jacarepaguá. And rolled up there and, uh, had all my paperwork in order and, all right, you know, looks good. Uh, fill in this other piece of paper and, uh, you know, we'll get sent off to the central office downtown. Sent it off to central office. Central office says, we need you to sign a declaration that this motor ain't stolen if you don't have a receipt. All right, so I go, I get the form, I print it off, make another appointment to go to the Detran office in Jacarepaguá and drive, you know, about half an hour each way because it's rush hour traffic, and go, and the guy says, you signed this using the federal government's electronic signature site, we can't take it. He was just riding out his last couple weeks before retirement, that sort, and he wasn't gonna be helpful. And I knew that his line was bullshit because they had accepted a ton of other documents electronically signed when I got my license. So I go home and I start snooping around, and they have a portal where you can submit documents to them that is completely and utterly undocumented. They do not tell you about it. They do not tell you of its existence. They don't tell you how you can register for a user account. I have the ability to read Portuguese. I figured it out and I uploaded the PDF version that was digitally signed. And they come back and they came back to me and said, all right, go down to the other office you started at and finish the title transfer. The earliest appointment I could get was Friday. Roll down there, guy in the inspection line was like, you got it done that fast? I was like, here's the paperwork. All right, I already looked at this car.
Speaker B
It already—
Speaker A
go park car, take a piece of paper in the office and, uh, talk to a lady in there. And went and I did so. And we'd had storms the night before and the system was Having a moment. It was kind of off and on. Anyway, get up, talk to the lady, real nice lady, and she gets all paperwork taken care of for me. And, you know, then, you know, hands me a new title, you know, without the motor number on it, because the folks downtown said, go do the title transfer, then send us the new title and we'll get it sorted. So went home, scanned that, sent it to them. They sent me the corrected title and all that. But it was about 4 days of bureaucratic mess in my third language. And, but, you know, we got her done and she's tagged, titled, all that good stuff. And yeah, then, uh, did breaks. I hate breaks. I hate doing brake work, man, but, uh, brakes are—
Speaker B
you know something?
Speaker C
Yes, I don't mind doing, uh, I don't mind like disc brake work. You want me to do your drum brakes though, and, uh, I will stick that goofy looking drum brake tool so far up you.
Speaker A
So I have— I am bound and determined I'm taking it to a shop to do the rears. When I get around to it, because it's got rear drums. But the problem with the fronts was it's a sliding caliper, and, uh, it hadn't been apart in many years, and every dust boot was tore. The caliper, the caliper slide pins were stuck. It was just, you know, the drill.
Speaker C
Yep.
Speaker B
And, uh, yep.
Speaker A
I literally broke a damn C-clamp pushing the piston in. I had to go and get a better C-clamp at the hardware store because I broke the biggest C-clamp I had on hand. But you know, got it done.
Speaker B
And that's, uh, that's, that's the shit I'm worried about when I'm doing the, the timing belt is I'm gonna run into some bullshit like that.
Speaker A
But went up to the, uh, Leroy Merlin, which is, uh, it's like Lowe's for, uh, not rich countries. And, uh, it's, I think it's a French chain or something. No, it's more like Lowe's than Menards. You ain't saving big money there.
Speaker B
And, uh, do they got, do they got Jimmy Johnson though?
Speaker A
They did not have Jimmy Johnson. However, on the weekends, they got a, they have a guy set up out front. That does a fresh-pressed sugarcane juice. And the thing that you— like, the thing they use to press it, it's basically an old single-cylinder motor with a— basically it's a single-cylinder motor with a big wheel on it. And, uh, no pollution controls, nothing. So you got that fresh, uh, that freshly burned rich carburetor smell, gasoline. You know, it just makes it taste better.
Speaker B
Of course.
Speaker A
And that, and there's a stand that sets up too with like fresh homemade cookies and stuff. And they do pastel, which is, I'm going to offend every single Brazilian listener when I say this, but imagine a big square empanada. but better. That's kind of what pastel is. Same idea, real thin, real thin dough filled with something delicious, and it's deep fried. And your doctor will hate it, but you will love every moment of it. The pastel is literally the definition of I'm here for a good time, not a long time. But get you one of those, and they're big jokers too. I mean, we're talking, you know, About 6, 8 inches long and about 3, 4 inches wide. And so big old joker, get, get you one of them and a cup of sugarcane, you know, fresh squeezed sugarcane juice. Mm-hmm, buddy. That's good eating.
Speaker C
And, uh, that sounds real nice.
Speaker A
Y'all ought to come down and try it.
Speaker C
I would love to.
Speaker B
On my way.
Speaker A
But go get you some of that. Uh, then do your shopping, but you want to do it before, because if you do it after, you'll blow a false positive if they do a roadside sobriety check. And we don't want that.
Speaker B
Pro, pro-Brazilian tips.
Speaker A
Hey, gotta have those pro tips.
Speaker C
When I hear pro-Brazilian tips, I'm thinking like inch to inch and a half wide. Make sure you're trimming that.
Speaker B
And I was gonna say, I was gonna say, uh, would you say 0.02 or 0.2?
Speaker A
0.02.
Speaker B
Or yeah, yeah, 0.02. Yeah, that's, um, that's like 10, uh, gosh, tenfold less than what the natural blood alcohol content level of a Minnesotan is.
Speaker C
Hey, hey now, hey, hey. You're thinking of Wisconsin.
Speaker B
They're right next door.
Speaker A
I know the accent confuses you.
Speaker C
We drink plenty up here, but we got nothing on those degenerates to the east.
Speaker B
That's fair. I've heard plenty of Wisconsin stories.
Speaker A
All those cheese-eating drunks up there in Wisconsin.
Speaker C
There's a, there's actually a shooter called a Wisconsin Lunchbox. It's that they're, they're delicious. They kind of taste like a fizzy Tang.
Speaker B
Ooh.
Speaker C
Ooh.
Speaker B
I love Tang.
Speaker C
You either need a shooter glass or a rocks glass. And you put a shot in the middle of it, and it's a shot of, um, it's a shot of amaretto, and then around the edge is a 50/50 mix of beer and orange juice, and you drink it as a shot. It's phenomenal.
Speaker B
All right, that's—
Speaker A
that is an interesting combination.
Speaker B
I'll keep that in mind. That does sound intriguing.
Speaker A
Yep, I think I'll stick to the cachaça myself. But, uh, but yeah, you know, got brakes done and it's— but yeah, it's actually, it's actually coming together pretty well, the old Fiat. And, uh, you know, did plugs on it a couple days ago, and she was running, you know, a little bit rich air.
Speaker B
Oh, I totally forgot to say, I also, I also did the plugs on the freaking, uh, outboard, uh, Yamaha motor, and those things looked even worse than those plugs you're showing right now. They, they were black, just carbon to hell.
Speaker A
Yeah, I think the E100 helps keep them from getting too black, but yeah, she is definitely running hair rich air. Yep.
Speaker B
But, uh, also probably didn't help that the oil was overfilled for a while.
Speaker A
No, that never helps.
Speaker C
Check your oil. It's probably high.
Speaker B
Yeah.
Speaker A
That's for our Colorado listeners.
Speaker B
Oh boy. Um, uh, the freaking— so around, around here, uh, yesterday, today, and tomorrow, uh, so August 6th through 8th, they're doing a what's called the Rocky Top Power Run. It's a poker run. with boats. Um, they started it last year apparently. Um, and so this is the first year I've seen it, and holy shit, it's a party out here. I didn't know they had a whole, um, street party downtown La Follette. Um, they brought all the— like a bunch of people would brought their boats, paraded them through town. Like they had the thing closed off, like street closed off. What is that? Brave Lemon? Is that hot sauce?
Speaker A
Uh, no, it's a concentrated lime juice.
Speaker B
Oh, okay, nice. So they had the whole street closed off in downtown La Follette. They were parading big-ass fancy boats, big old speedboats through it, catamarans, all kinds of stuff. Uh, cigarette boats, whatnot. Um, and, uh, so they're doing this poker run, which, you know, they gotta run to different marinas, grab a card. Whoever has the best, uh, hand at the end wins a prize or whatever. You gotta, you know, donate in order to participate, and, you know, that goes to like the Campbell County Animal Shelter and a bunch of other stuff like that. Good charities. Um, I didn't realize how big of a thing this was because it's only the second year. Holy cow, there are so fucking many insane boats out on the lake right now. Just massive cigarette boats, massive catamarans. We're talking like ocean-type, like, uh, speed record boats and stuff. I'm, I'm seeing motherfuckers fly by it, like fly by our, our part of the lake here, uh, at like 80. And just, you know, big block motors just screaming, throwing up—
Speaker A
Big block Chevy.
Speaker B
Big block Chevys throwing up rooster tails. I'm like, good Lord, this is freaking sick. All kinds of crazy candy paint jobs. You know, you see them from time to time. Yeah, you see them from time to time. But like, there are so many. They're just running back and forth all day, constantly. Yesterday, today, and I guess tomorrow too. In fact, I hear one right now outside. It's 10 o'clock at night. Like, they're going ham. Um, I've— this is the most crazy boats I've ever seen. I'm having a blast watching all these guys out here. I have a great view from out my dock. This is one of the places they zoom by all the time. So like, uh, or from out the deck and, and on the dock. So like, there's plenty of people going by all the time. You know, I'm seeing I'm seeing giant boats with fucking 4 400 outboards on them. I'm like, what? What is that? Quad 400s? What are we doing?
Speaker C
Going fast.
Speaker B
Yeah, they're going fast.
Speaker A
First or last.
Speaker B
I'm like, this is insane. And then on top of that, they got helicopters flying around right low over the lake. following these boats. A freaking helicopter earlier today just, just buzzed right over our house here. And I— and, and yesterday, what, literally a freaking King Air, a King Air like plane dove right over our house, right over the lake, was probably 200 feet off the lake, banked up and pulled up. A King Air flew over my head. I'm like, what is happening? This is like some Forza Horizon shit. I'm like, this isn't— but with boats. Like, this is the craziest shit I've ever seen. So I'm having fun this weekend.
Speaker C
I gotta I got an automotive question for y'all.
Speaker B
All right.
Speaker A
All right, shoot.
Speaker C
So now that I got the 940, and that's gonna be the daily because as a very wise man put it, it's got the most rust, it should be the daily.
Speaker B
That's fair.
Speaker C
Yeah.
Speaker A
Yep.
Speaker C
Um, Should I forget about putting the, uh, the remote start on the wagon and put that into the 940? Yeah, just get that wagon buttoned up and do gambler events with it next year.
Speaker A
Ooh, the question is, will the 9 be parked Indoors or outdoors?
Speaker C
More outdoors.
Speaker A
Knowing what I know about Minnesota winter, you're gonna want that remote start on the 940.
Speaker C
That's kind of what I'm thinking.
Speaker B
I think even if you weren't taking the wagon gambling, I think, I think remote start on the daily is always the move.
Speaker C
That's, I think, the move. And since it's not fully into the 240 yet, I think the move is just to put it on the 9.
Speaker A
Yeah. Yep. The good news is, unlike a 240, you actually get decent fuses out of a factory on a 9.
Speaker C
That, and all the fuses and relays are in one frickin' spot!
Speaker B
Bless. Oh, hallelujah.
Speaker C
There's not, there's not one relay up here, a couple of down here, 3 or 4 over here, a couple more down there.
Speaker A
You mean you don't want to play hunt the relay?
Speaker C
It's almost like the 940 was built, you know, in the semi-modern era from the ground up. Well, the 740 was, and then became the 940, as opposed to the 240 that came out of the 140 and they just stuck crap onto it when they needed it, wherever they could think of a spot.
Speaker A
I cannot imagine why you wouldn't want changing a relay to be like a blindfolded Easter egg hunt.
Speaker B
It's fun.
Speaker C
Not how I roll, but yeah, I think, I think that's the move.
Speaker B
Well, that's how Volvo rolls, because that's what that means in Latin.
Speaker C
That's true. That is true.
Speaker A
Quite true. Quite true.
Speaker B
Speaking of sweet— speaking of Swedish cars though, my flavor of Swedish car is Saab.
Speaker A
And, uh, sounds like a Saab story.
Speaker B
This is a Saab story. I have completely forgot about all of my Saab shenanigans back in the day, that, uh, up until this past week where I was reminded of all of the Saabs that have been in my life. I have only owned a quarter, a third of a 900 Turbo. I've never personally owned a Saab, but I have so many damn friends who have had Saabs, it's not even— it's kind of ridiculous.
Speaker A
Um, now which third of a 900 did you own?
Speaker B
Uh, the, the broken CV axle.
Speaker A
Yeah, sounds about Saab.
Speaker B
We never got the thing, uh, driving. It ran, but the CV axle we were having issues with, and we just sold the thing before we— we tried to use it, get it as a project car back in high school or whatever, and we just sold it.
Speaker C
But anyway, you guys, about my buddy's Saab shenanigans, didn't I? It's good though.
Speaker A
I don't think you have.
Speaker C
Uh, he's got a 2.4 turbo motor mounted to a BMW 6-speed Jetrag for a rear-wheel drive configuration that he's putting into a 1971 Dodge Demon.
Speaker B
What?
Speaker A
This—
Speaker B
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 2.4 doesn't stop— isn't it up to 2.3?
Speaker C
I think it's a 2.4. It's like the Viggen motor, I think.
Speaker B
Wait, is that a 2.4? Okay, I'm not 100%. I'm not 100%. Yeah, I thought it was a 2.3.
Speaker C
Put our Humvee P on it.
Speaker B
Either way, The Viggen motor is sick. Yeah.
Speaker A
Now the question is, is it going to have all the warning triangles?
Speaker C
Um, so I worked up for him in Photoshop. I should send this to you guys later.
Speaker B
We should post it on the socials.
Speaker C
Yeah, we can put it on the socials. Um, but it's, uh, you know the old Demon logo where it's the little guy with the pitchfork?
Speaker B
Yeah.
Speaker C
Yeah, is the, um, I think it's the Ammon Demon. Um, I did that, but, uh, the, uh, pitchfork has the blue and the blue and yellow safety triangles in it.
Speaker A
Nice. Good. This is good. This is good. So we're gonna throw this one up in the show notes for sure.
Speaker B
To finish up my Saab story though, I completely just put Saabs out of my mind for whatever reason up until, um, last weekend. I saw the rarest Saab you will ever see, and I completely forgot it existed. And I also completely forgot that I had messed with that Saab, that specific one, before. It was my friend Chris, who has the 944 in the woods, his mom's old 2011— '10 or '11 Saab 9-4X.
Speaker A
So is it rare? Is it rarer than the 97X Arrow?
Speaker B
Yes, there is anywhere from 600 to 1,000 of those ever made for the world.
Speaker C
Oof.
Speaker A
Yeah, parts availability is gonna be a nightmare.
Speaker B
Well, It's a Cadillac SRX, which is why it's still running. It is so clapped. It is so ridiculously clapped. The paint is peeling off. It hasn't been washed. It looks like it hasn't been washed in 5 years. The interior is falling apart. The seats are disgusting. Bro is not taking care of this thing at all. But the design of that era of Saab interiors was absolutely fire. Oh my God, it's so good.
Speaker C
But Saab interiors were always cool looking.
Speaker B
Yeah, cool as hell. Oh yeah, still had night panel, still had night panel as God intended.
Speaker A
The fastest I have ever been in a land vehicle was a buddy of mine back when I was at Tennessee Tech. So this was sophomore year or so of college. Buddy of mine had a 9.3 Arrow. I mean, 9.5 Arrow. Sorry. It was a 9.5 Arrow with the 6.
Speaker B
Okay. Arrow V6. Yeah.
Speaker A
Yeah. And we, we got a wild hare up our collective asses that we wanted White Castle.
Speaker C
It's a good wild hare.
Speaker B
That's a great— yeah, of course you want White Castle.
Speaker A
Yeah. I want White Castle. Was in Nashville.
Speaker B
I want crystal. Damn it.
Speaker A
Closest White Castle was down in Nashville. And we got this wild hair when we were, you know, somewhere in the backwoods of Jackson County, Tennessee.
Speaker C
I've been to that White Castle in Nashville.
Speaker B
I think I might have. I might actually have been too.
Speaker A
I definitely have been.
Speaker C
And so onion rings instead of onion chips. And when I ordered onion chips, they looked at me like I had a dick growing out of my forehead.
Speaker B
Where did they got onion chips? Because all the White Castles in Ohio and Columbus, Ohio had rings.
Speaker A
Yeah. Missouri too. But anyway, we went to old White Castle, had us a fine sack of burgers that couldn't be beat. Except by Crystal. And on the way back, you know, my buddy was driving, I was sitting in the front seat and our other buddy was in the back sleeping. And, you know, my friend who owned it, he looked over at me and was, uh, want to see how— want to have a near-life experience? Well, I ain't never had a near-life experience before. I've had a couple of near-death ones. So yeah, sure, whatever. And he lays all hammer down and, uh, we hit— let's just say the, the numbers they quote for the top speed of that car, I have personally GPS verified them from the front passenger seat. And, uh, it was, uh, well in the range of 250 kilometers per hour. And I'm saying this number in metric so that we, uh, make sure most of the Americans don't get too scared.
Speaker B
Yeah.
Speaker A
But, uh, we hit it and we GPS verified it. Well, I did. I was, uh, I was a little bit nervous, you know, it being, uh, 1 o'clock in the morning on I-40 between Nashville and Cookeville, where I know the Tennessee State Highway Patrol likes to hang out. Yeah, they do. And, uh, but somehow, somehow, some way. We made it back without dying and without getting arrested, handcuffed, and thrown in the back of a patrol car. So, but—
Speaker B
Well, bless, bless you and bless that Saab.
Speaker A
And a few weeks later out at the old airport, we, uh, we held a drag race between, uh, the 2 buddies I was with. Uh, we had our buddy with the Saab. And my other friend who was with us had an old Zorro, first gen with the Autobahn package and that perfect '90s GM green, you know, the green.
Speaker C
Yeah.
Speaker A
And, uh, old bro in the Saab was a little embarrassed when, uh, that Oldsmobile stomped him.
Speaker B
Aurora V8.
Speaker A
Yeah. Aurora V8.
Speaker B
They're, they're both GM.
Speaker A
Oh yeah, absolutely. But, uh, I always thought the Aurora was the better looking of the 2 cars, but I'm a little biased.
Speaker B
That's fair.
Speaker C
Aurora was a sharp looking car.
Speaker B
Aurora is a fantastic looking car.
Speaker A
First gen was awesome.
Speaker B
So, so anyway, with the 94X, right, that thing is rare as hen's teeth. You are never gonna see— you, at this point, you're probably never gonna see one. Like, 10 years when they were brand new, you would maybe see— like, I think I've seen maybe 3 in my— 4 in my life, and 2 of those— oh crap, no, I've seen maybe 5 or 6. 3 of those were owned by my friend Chris's family.
Speaker A
Yeah.
Speaker B
At one point, his family owned 3 94Xs, which is an actual percentage of the, of the amount that was ever made, which is insane. And one of them, one of them wasn't— one of them was even rarer because it was an Aero. So we're talking, we're talking all-wheel drive turbo V6. and some, some turbine wheels. Gorgeous dark blue. Oh my goodness.
Speaker A
Yeah.
Speaker B
Oh my goodness. It was fantastic. But that one's gone. The other one I think is gone. But that white one, the base model, that thing's still kicking and it still exists. And I am baffled and I want to save it because it is clapped.
Speaker A
Um, Nah.
Speaker B
One time, one time when, uh, his mom owned it, uh, we did something silly without telling her one afternoon. We took the exhaust off of it, and I swear to God, it sounds like a Porsche Cup car. It sounded so good. I got video of it. It's like, it sounded phenomenal. I was like, damn, that was so much fun. I don't think anyone's probably ever done that before.
Speaker A
I mean, I can tell you from alleged experience that a Mercedes E500 wagon, when you do a muffler delete, sounds an awful damn lot like a DTM car.
Speaker B
Hell yeah. So So, all right, so this— so Chris's family, right? At one point Chris got them all Saab-pilled, but at one point— so he had his first one was a, uh, 9-3 Aero wagon sport kombi, but I went to Louisville, Kentucky with him and we road tripped it back, uh, to Knoxville. Um, then he gave that to his sister, um, and it— and he bought A freaking Turbo X. He had a Turbo X, a 6-speed manual Turbo X, and it was— he, he, he straight piped it. It sounded like a diesel truck. Oh my God, that thing kicked ass. It— the shifter was so heavy, it felt like a muscle car. Thing was awesome. Um, and if you don't know what a Turbo X is, it's a— even, I mean, I know y'all do, but for people listening, It's the rarer— the rarest performance version of a 9-3. It's a Haldex all-wheel drive, uh, turbo V6 making about 280 horsepower, but he had it tuned. It was probably pushing 350, 400. Sounded glorious. Thing was a monster. Of course he wrecked it. Uh, he even had a light bar and a roof rack on it. It was crazy. But yeah, he wrecked it. His sister wrecked the 9-3 Sport Caddy, of course. Then, um, his sister got like a 932.0, um, and then I don't think he got another Saab after that. But then all of— during all of this, his mom got the 9-4X, his brother got a 9-4X, his other brother got a 9-4X, and then his dad got a 9— an NG— a base model NG95. So they had 2— they've had 2 NG95s, 3 9-4Xs, a Turbo X, and an Aero Sport Kombi. What?
Speaker C
What?
Speaker B
This is the rarest shit you'll ever see. And one family had all of those.
Speaker A
The research desk here at Hampians Broadcast International has delivered us production numbers for the '97 Aero. And the total production for the 97X Aero was 554.
Speaker B
Okay, okay. So, uh, if we're— if we're breaking it down into trim levels though, there's definitely less than, uh, 554 94X Aeros, that's for sure.
Speaker A
Every time you drive one, it's a sob story.
Speaker B
It is.
Speaker C
And I thought I was sitting on rare shit when I had, uh, had 2 1989 780 Turbos in Blue Pearl.
Speaker A
Blue?
Speaker B
No, that's, that's sick actually. You never see them in that color.
Speaker C
One of them had black, had black on blue interior. That thing was baller as hell.
Speaker A
I remember that. I think I remember that car.
Speaker B
Remember Carson's, uh, Bertone, uh, 780 or whatever?
Speaker C
Yeah, that's what we're talking about.
Speaker B
Oh, that was fire.
Speaker A
So first time I met Gino, he picked me up from the airport in Minneapolis in one of those 780s.
Speaker B
You had one, Gino?
Speaker C
I had 2.
Speaker B
Wait, I thought you said 740. You had 2 780s?
Speaker C
I had 2 780s, both '89s, both turbos, both in the same color.
Speaker B
Oh, okay, okay. I was, I was thinking 740. 780s, oh my Lord, that is rare as hell.
Speaker A
Yeah, and, um, uh, that's when I flew up there to buy the, uh, 940 that I run you down on. with in the, uh, Tale of a Dragon. Yeah.
Speaker B
When I was in the IS300 that my sister still has, and I'm about to do a timing belt on.
Speaker A
Yep. You know, if you want a rematch, that car is out back at Uncle Bob's house.
Speaker B
Let's do it. Let's do it. I'm down. I am so down.
Speaker A
Next time I'm up in— next time I'm up there in the US, we're doing it.
Speaker B
I'll just, uh, I'll have to, uh, while my sister's distracted, she's going to California sometime soon while she's out in California. I'll, I'll run it.
Speaker C
You do that, I'll bring the 940 down. We'll have a reunion.
Speaker B
And as long as I get the, the, um, timing belt done on the Stagea before then, I can run that too. Um, but anywho, um, so that was just my one friend and his family Saabs. I also had, uh, another friend who had a 932.0, a uh, manual. Um, another friend who had, uh, a 9-3 2.0, uh, manual, and then a 9-3 Aero automatic as well. Um, and then I have another friend who still has a 9-3 Aero, the same 9-3 Aero that he had like when, uh, Chris's family had all their Saabs. He and one of our other good friends also ended up buying a 9-3 Aero 6-speed, and he still has it. Um, you kind of have to pump the brakes a couple times in order to get them to work. It's not the most, uh, confidence-inspiring situation.
Speaker A
I mean, I had that happen a couple times. It wasn't— it ain't so bad when you get used to it.
Speaker B
Yeah, when you get used to it, but it ain't running the dragon, that's for sure.
Speaker A
Oh, sure it will. I mean, you got all them natural brakes.
Speaker B
Yeah, Saabs are sick. Um, I, I don't need another project car, but if I was to get another project car, I would not— I probably, honestly, now that I'm thinking about it, I would love to have a Saab. Oh man, I'd love to have some weird-ass Saab.
Speaker A
Give me—
Speaker B
you know what, is it 900 Turbo time?
Speaker C
It might be. I think, uh, you know what, before we meet again, buy yourself a 900 Turbo.
Speaker B
I think it might be time for me to have another 900 Turbo, this time one that actually drives.
Speaker A
Um, I'm gonna throw you out a better—
Speaker C
What about a—
Speaker B
no, no, no, better, better. Hold on. You know, actually, I completely forgot. You know what my favorite Saab of all time is?
Speaker C
If you say the Saabaru, I'm quitting in a minute.
Speaker B
No, fuck the Saabaru. No, I mean, it's great, it's, it's, it's quirky, but it's a, it's a freaking WRX. If I wanted a WRX, I'd get a WRX. No, I don't want a Subaru. My favorite Saab of all time is the 9000 Turbo.
Speaker C
Is that what—
Speaker A
Ah, yes. The old Type 4.
Speaker C
What did the— what did the woman on Burn Notice drive for a bit? Because she had a Saab in a few seasons of that.
Speaker B
She had a 9-3 Vert.
Speaker C
That's right. That's right.
Speaker B
Yeah, cool car. I, I wouldn't want a vert, but I mean, it's still kind of cool that they made a, a convertible version of that car.
Speaker A
So the thing about the 9000 though is we know due to it sharing a chassis with the Lancia Thema, the Fiat something or other, I think it was the Chroma. And the, um, Alpha 164. We know beyond the shadow of a doubt that a 32-valve Ferrari V8 will fit.
Speaker B
I was about to say the same thing. We're doing a Ferrari V8 swap of the freaking 9000, baby. Let's go. If that turbo 4 ever blows up, or I could do a Busso V6.
Speaker A
You know, that Busso is a good sounding motor.
Speaker B
I think a V8 would be cooler though. A V8, a Ferrari V8 Saab. Like, are you kidding me?
Speaker C
Be pretty sick.
Speaker B
Pull up to Cars and Coffee and you're just, you're dropping this. Everyone's pants just drop.
Speaker C
Oh man.
Speaker A
Well, I don't know, give them average, uh, Resident of a Cars and Coffee meet, I don't think you'd want that.
Speaker B
I didn't say I would enjoy it. We got some, we got some shit-stained panties.
Speaker C
Everyone's pulling down their Depends.
Speaker B
No, this ain't a Corvette meet.
Speaker C
Yeah, you're right. I was thinking Corvette Club of America.
Speaker B
Carlisle.
Speaker A
And on that note, gentlemen, I believe we have a broadcast.
Speaker B
All right. That's a cast.
Speaker A
So any last words for our listeners?
Speaker C
Check your oil. Maybe it's high.
Speaker B
It might actually be overfill. Yeah. Check it. Oh, check your damn timing belt.
Speaker C
Oh, if you don't know when the last time your brakes were bled is, you should do that.
Speaker B
Yep.
Speaker A
Yep. And you should probably check your seals. They might be leaking.
Speaker B
Yep.
Speaker C
I know mine are.
Speaker B
And buy a Saab.
Speaker C
Buy a dumb car. I don't care what it is. Buy something from a dead nameplate. Get an Oldsmobile.