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Episode 09: Acts of Boat, Acts of God and Acts of DMV
In which even God is tired of Geno's Subaru
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Speaker A
With 226 watts of pure podcast power. Broadcasting from our studios in Rio, Janeiro, Knoxville and Minneapolis, this is Iroh. Good morning and welcome to the international race of Hampions. Coming to you live from where you and get your podcast. I'm Caleb and I'm joined here tonight with Justin, our reservoir reporter and of course the one, the only, but glizzy gladiator of the Great Lakes. Gino.
Speaker B
Hey, how you doing?
Speaker C
Hey, how's it going?
Speaker B
Oh, jeez, that's awfully nice of you there, giving me a title and all. Hope I can live up to it.
Speaker C
I was just thinking we need. I was just thinking we need an intro song.
Speaker B
One of these days I'll just have to record an entire episode like I'm an extra in Fargo.
Speaker C
That'll be a bonus episode. Gotta pay extra.
Speaker A
Yeah.
Speaker B
Subscribe to our Patreon. Yeah, or our only fans if you're really weird.
Speaker A
Our only flans.
Speaker B
Oh, that's like one of my favorite things on the Internet is that vandalized poster of Does God have a Flan for Me?
Speaker A
All right, y', all, we got a good show coming up tonight and we have Acts of God, we have Acts of dmv, and then we have the reservoir report from beautiful Norris Lake, Tennessee. So let's get started, y'. All.
Speaker C
All right, well, I'm out here, I mean I've been out here, but today I'm recording outside. You got the lake behind me. It's wonderful. But in terms of anything interesting that we could talk about that. My dad's boat has been. Well, he has two boats in a Jet Ski. One's. One boat is a. Just like a speedboat. The other boat is a pontoon. And then the Jet ski is a cool old three cylinder, two stroke Yamaha Waverunner. That thing's awesome. I need to. Yeah, I got that thing down on the lake relatively recently and I need to take it out again to blast. But anyway, the Speedboat is a 1995 Mariah Shaba Z212. It originally had a 350 small block Mercruiser in it with a Mercruiser Alpha 1 outboard drive. Inboard, outboard. And over the years it's a nice ass boat. Like it's a luxury boat. It's 21 foot like bow rider. Like it's got, you know, seats up front. It doesn't have like a lower deck or anything. It doesn't have like a, a, a, a bathroom or anything. It's, it's like, you know, it's not a ski boat. It's just like a. But you can ski behind it. You know, it's. It's a boat.
Speaker B
I mean in my. Most boats travel around a very large bathroom. Anyway, so.
Speaker C
So. Oh, speaking of. Speaking of boats, I hear a giant motor right now.
Speaker A
In the interest of our continued lack of lawsuits, Gino's last statement was a joke. Our lawyers have advised us to save that.
Speaker C
Yeah, fair, fair. Here's the asterisk.
Speaker B
I'm not saying it's a term I use. I'm just saying that's.
Speaker C
Yeah, that's our. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Anyway, I'm gonna just, just. Okay. Just for that I'm gonna go shit off the side of the dock.
Speaker A
Just.
Speaker C
Just the spirit of it. No, not really. Anyway, so. Yeah, so this boat, it's a sick ass boat, but like 10 years ago or whatever, took it out on the lake. Took it out on lake for the first time and it had noticed it was having some issue and it was like running weird and whatnot. Popped the hatch up. Look in there. Lo and behold, the blocks cracked. Great. Awesome. It wasn't winterized properly the season before. He wanted to put in a 383 stroker instead of the 350 small block, give it more power because stock it probably made like 240 horsepower or something. Something like. So we took it to the shop, got that done. But it took like five years or something ridiculous for the guy to do it. Like it's one guy and he has a whole bunch of boats and he just works on it slowly. And it's just some good old boy out in the hills back here. And it took him like five damn years to put this motor in. It's a good build on paper. You just put it together pretty bad. And I, I picked the color of the block of it and everything. And it's like a nice like, like shiny, metallic bright kind of green. I like it a lot. Kind of matches with the boat a little bit. I mean the boat's a little bit of a darker green or it's white but with like darker highlights and stuff. But I still think it's kind of like a. I like that. I like. Anyway, after we took it out and ran it a few times to get it through its break in period, I noticed that it was leaking oil from the back of the head. And I was like, that's, that's not great. So, yeah, so something wasn't right with it. It was leaking oil from the back of the heads in a way that just didn't make any sense. And the guy that built the motor was just so unreliable and untrustworthy. Just like, we're not going to take it back to him to even ask what's going on. We just need to take it to someone else and they get everything buttoned up. But my dad was distracted with a whole bunch of other stuff and also, you know, sort of crestfallen about it, so he just kind of parked the boat up for another like five years. So it's been sitting and it's been getting covered in like. Mice were all in it. I mean, it was in a covered building, but still mice got all up in it and it got all nasty and stuff. So we.
Speaker A
Not only do you have a hantavirus 944 up there in the hills, you also have a hantavirus barge.
Speaker C
Yeah, hantavirus barge and a hantavirus speedboat.
Speaker A
Are you sure you don't do cruises to Antarctica these days?
Speaker C
I mean, I haven't gotten hantavirus yet, knock on wood. Nonetheless, I. Yeah, because the pontoon boat up there probably also has mice in it, honestly, but there's just mice all up. Terrible. Anywho, brought the boat down or got the expedition registered for the road again. Hooked it up to the boat trailer, pumped all the tires up, brought the boat down to the house, cleaned it up, and then we brought it over to a new shop finally. And guy seems like he. I don't know, seems like he's probably a little bit better than this other dude and. Yeah, we'll see what happens. It's. It's at the shop right now. He said he would get started on it this week, so hopefully it's good. It's not. Hopefully it's nothing too brutal. Hopefully it's just like the guy put on the head gasket shittily and they just. He has to take the heads off, redo it. But it's not really that big of a job, like, fully. I mean, I know taking the heads off is a bitch.
Speaker B
At the end of the day. At the end of the day, a boat is just a hole in the water that you throw money into.
Speaker C
It is. It is a thousand percent. But, you know, you know, best case scenario, it's just like I misdiagnosed it and it's just like valve cover gaskets and it's just like takes a day and, you know, 100 bucks.
Speaker A
I mean, you know what they say. I mean, the happiest days of boat ownership are the day you buy it and the day you sell It.
Speaker B
I think actually next week I should actually get my boat out for the first time in two years.
Speaker A
Yeah, of course, your boat's a little bit different class, though.
Speaker B
It's a very different boat.
Speaker C
The key of having fun, the key of having fun with a boat is to have your dad own it.
Speaker B
Okay, I'll have him buy my boat. I mean, my boat is more of a styrofoam cooler than a boat it's currently.
Speaker A
That's basically moving on into the acts of God portion of the show. How's the Fozzie doing, Geno?
Speaker B
It's going away in the not too distant future. It turns out that in his infinite wisdom, God is as tired of that car as I am and decided to hit it. And the west side of our house and our roof with nearly golf ball sized hail last week.
Speaker C
Oh, nice. Ooh.
Speaker B
Yeah.
Speaker A
On the one hand, ouch. On the other hand, thank the Lord you're getting out from under that albatross.
Speaker B
Yeah, it's just. I don't remember if I mentioned this on the pods. Last month, in a moment of idiocy, I crumpled up the driver's side doors on it. And I went later that day to the u pull yard and got two new doors. And a friend and I were gonna paint it. Haven't gotten around to it yet. And then it got hit by hail. And I said, forget this. There are too many things wrong with it to be wor the time and effort required to fix it. Because, you know, even if I painstakingly take out, you know, the hundred little dents all over it now, replace the doors, spray the car, fix all that stuff up, I'm still gonna have to pull the engine out and do the normal, you know, mid hundred thousand mile Subaru crap.
Speaker C
And I don't want I sm. I smell. I'm smelling something. What is it? What am I getting a hint of? Oh, oh, I know what it is. SCCA Rallycross. Oh, well, same thing.
Speaker B
I'll tell you what the buyback value is and you can do it, but I don't have time or space for another vehicle, so.
Speaker C
Shame.
Speaker A
So what I am, what I'm hearing is this was God telling you to get off your ass and finish for 245.
Speaker B
Yeah, I've gotten a lot closer. I'm actually sitting next to the wiring harness that's going to go in for all the fancy crap and just a few more connections to make on that and then start buttoning the dash up and that'll be nice to have that running Again.
Speaker C
Yeah, good stuff.
Speaker A
Nice to see it running. And probably a big update from my end is after three and a half months of weight on the local DMV to process my request for exchanging my US license for a Brazilian one, I was summoned to the central office of the state of Rio de Janeiro DMV where I could submit my paperwork in person that I had already sent digital copies of and they approved my paperwork. So they took my fingerprints, took my photograph, you know, nice little study and going to be like 2 x 2 cm and full color, you know, it's not like the whole, you know, Arlo Guthrie's 8 by 10 color glossy photographs. It's only a 2 by 2. And on Tuesday I get to go to the doctor's office where they, where the shrink gets to tell me if I'm crazy enough to drive in Brazil after driving for 20 some odd years outside of Brazil. So next episode I will be able to come back and let y' all know how that went. But it was real interesting because the day I was summoned was the last day I could legally drive on a foreign license in Brazil. So. But getting close, but did see a real nice diesel 40 series land cruiser on the way though.
Speaker B
I just had a thought. It occurs to me that with the, the Forester going bye bye, I could pull the, the Cart Boys short shifter out of there and we could maybe do a little drawing for a listener who makes worse decisions than I do and doesn't want to get rid of their Subaru,
Speaker A
you know, that might just be a terrible idea. So. All right listeners, if you have a worse idea than any of us, please send it to our mailbag@mailbag that is M A I L B A G@iroPodcast.com and if you are within the 50 United States, you too might be able to suffer through Subaru ownership with just a slight bit of enhancement from the Cartboy shifter.
Speaker C
I think the, the winning answer has to be stupider than I'm going to take the turbo off of my EJ25 now.
Speaker A
I think the answer needs to be stupider than I'm going to go out and buy a Subaru Forester and daily drive it.
Speaker B
I mean that's a tough, that's a tough line. But it doesn't just fit the Forester, you know.
Speaker A
True. I mean you could also be dumb enough to drive a wrx.
Speaker B
Yeah. Or a Legacy.
Speaker A
Yeah, that's also a degree of stupid or an out.
Speaker B
Well, depends on the outback. But I think there are probably some outbacks out there that this shifter would fit or no returns if it doesn't fit. It's your lump of metal now.
Speaker A
So. But yeah, I'm soon to be a licensed officially in three different countries, which that'll be. That'll be an experience. And you know, better news is I'm soon to have some sort of cromulent transportation in the driveway again. So I have officially gotten spousal approval for acquisition of vehicle, so. So we are commencing the process of car shopping and who knows, we might actually get something interesting.
Speaker C
Clapped 2006 Nissan Altima.
Speaker A
Ooh. The clapped out Altima is always a choice. But the problem, the clapped out Altima speaks to a variety of terrible decisions that led to the clapped out Altima.
Speaker C
No, you can cosplay as the person who has made those terrible poverty cosplay.
Speaker B
I mean like the one nice thing you can say about the Ultima is you always know what to expect from the Ultima driver.
Speaker A
Oh, this is true. That's what I'm saying.
Speaker C
You have to embrace. You have to embrace the identity.
Speaker B
Okay, so years here we introduced, for an extra $30 a year, you can get a black license plate for your vehicle. And the main thing I've noticed is that a black license plate turns any regular vehicle into a Nissan Altima instantly.
Speaker C
It's amazing.
Speaker A
See here our black plates are reserved for collector cars. So you don't see that behavior with our black plates.
Speaker C
Tennessee also introduced black plates. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker A
It's what that millennial debt foundation or something it says.
Speaker C
Yeah, they say like right wing grift. They say in the black on them. And I figured it was some stupid shit.
Speaker A
Yeah, I looked it up. It's. It's a right wing grift thing.
Speaker C
Incredible.
Speaker B
I mean, at least ours is just like 30 extra bucks to like stay the state for road repair and whatnot.
Speaker C
But see, that would be fine. But of course the Tennessee one has to be something stupid.
Speaker B
I do think it's funny when you see them on cars that a are not black vehicles.
Speaker C
Yeah.
Speaker B
And two are just more clapped out shit boxes than anything I've ever driven.
Speaker A
It's like, yeah, yeah.
Speaker C
Or I mean like, I guess on, I guess on it could work on a red car or a white car or a yellow car. Like as an accent, I could see it work. But nonetheless, Tennessee's blue plates are pretty solid. So I don't, I don't see any real reason to get a black plate if it's going to support some right wing grift, you know, like yeah. If I had a black car, would I maybe want it? Maybe. But I like the blue plate. It's good enough. And they have. Tennessee has so many other specialty plates that are fun.
Speaker A
Yeah. So the art fish. Yeah.
Speaker C
Oh, you know what this is? You know what this is making me think of? They should just have. You should just be able to pick any fucking color, dude.
Speaker A
No, you need the jazz cat plate for the stagia.
Speaker B
Yes.
Speaker C
Yes, I need the jazz cat plate for the stagia. Oh, my God. Yes.
Speaker A
International race of champions. Always advocating for the Tennessee jazz cat license plate.
Speaker C
What does that go. What does that go to? Isn't that, like, for the arts or something?
Speaker A
It's the Tennessee Arts Foundation.
Speaker C
Oh.
Speaker B
I mean, the jazz cat is awesome, but let's not sleep on that. Very clearly baked fish.
Speaker A
Yes, the art fish.
Speaker C
The.
Speaker A
The.
Speaker B
Like, that fish has been smoking fat jays all day.
Speaker C
The fish is kind of baked and also looks a little aroused. Unfortunately, jazz cat's way better for the stagia.
Speaker A
Yeah, man. That fish is definitely here for a good time.
Speaker C
That's what I'm saying. Like, look at those. Like, the fish is like, don't trust that fish.
Speaker B
Yeah, we don't have. We don't have a jazz. We do have the. We do have the acid. Acid dock plate. That's pretty cool. We have a moose plate.
Speaker C
Wait, what's the acid dock? I want to see that.
Speaker B
It's the Minnesota State Parks and Trails plate. I believe they've toned it down a little bit, but it's like. It's a vaguely trippy dock with a canoe.
Speaker A
Nice. I'll say. My personal favorite Tennessee plate was the old Friends of the Smokies before they went to the flats and they redid the colors.
Speaker C
Yeah, the old one was nice.
Speaker A
So the original Friends of a Smoky plate. It was a little bit lighter shade of purple. It just looked fantastic. And that's what I ran on my 740 back in the day, but it was the old embossed one, too.
Speaker C
Ooh. So if I was to get the jazz cat for the stagia, I also would probably want to get it as a vanity plate. I mean, like, as a. You know, to say something. What would be a good thing to say? Stagia.
Speaker A
That's a tough. How many letters do you get?
Speaker C
I don't know. On the Jazz Cat? 4, and it has AC in the middle. I don't know. If you. Wait. I don't know. Maybe it's eight, like, normal. Maybe if you do the custom plate, it wipes out the normal, like number with the AC in the middle. I think it does. So I think it's eight, seven or eight.
Speaker A
Yeah. Let me look that up.
Speaker B
I think I just need to wait until we introduce one for the. The women's pro. The PWHL women's pro hockey team, the Minnesota fr. Because their logo is a stylized letter F and see if I can be the first one to get art on that license plate, Which they might let fly. I don't think I could get away with. Uck.
Speaker A
No, I don't think so.
Speaker B
But I feel like driving around with a license plate that just says fart would be pretty phenomenal, you know?
Speaker C
You know, that made me think of if you had a old school. If you had an old school 911 with Fuchs wheels and you made the plate say oox.
Speaker B
See, if I had a 911, there's only one license plate I would ever consider. Or two, actually. It either needs to say Bush did or inside.
Speaker C
That's. I was going to make that joke. All right, I see we're on the same page.
Speaker A
So. So I just looked it up and
Speaker C
building seven will give you. That's. That's if you. Never mind.
Speaker A
Five for the jazz Cat.
Speaker C
Five for the jazz Cat. Okay.
Speaker A
Yep.
Speaker C
Yeah, this is. I don't know. I don't know because it's like I. I bet. I guarantee you just. Wagon is taken.
Speaker B
Your. Your audio.
Speaker C
Oh, is it?
Speaker B
Yeah.
Speaker A
So Wagon is taken, but. Wow. Yeah. Zero in is not.
Speaker C
Okay.
Speaker B
But some states are smart enough where that counts as the same plate once you try to.
Speaker A
So Tennessee. No, I think Tennessee actually doesn't count it. But they also do a pretty good delineation between their 0 and.
Speaker B
Oh, you could do.
Speaker C
I could.
Speaker B
I could do. Would fit and not be bad.
Speaker C
I could do R S, 4V. But the, the. The number four instead of spelling four out because that's. This is the trim.
Speaker A
So RS4V is available.
Speaker C
A. All right. So that would be. That would probably be what. I would either do that or some like. Like Weeb.
Speaker B
Weeb would be incredible.
Speaker C
I think Weeb would be great.
Speaker B
It's too bad you don't get six. You could do FN Weeb.
Speaker C
Yeah. Or. Or Weeb Wag if I had seven.
Speaker A
Yeah. So unfortunately, Weeb is not available. But we. With threes instead of ease.
Speaker B
I was gonna say that's actually better.
Speaker C
That's almost better. And I bet I. I want to know what car has Weeb as the plate.
Speaker B
Or you do. Or you do like B or 8 3.3W. So people ahead of you see it in the rear view.
Speaker C
I don't have front plates.
Speaker B
Tennessee is a. Yeah, look at me. I. Mr. I live in a proper state that doesn't make people deface the front of their cars.
Speaker A
Oh. So I just looked up which car has the plate Weeb in the state of Tennessee.
Speaker C
Let me guess. It is a 2008 Honda Civic.
Speaker A
It is not. Gino, do you have a guess?
Speaker B
It's probably a 10 year old WRX on a loan. That is only slightly more than the owner's monthly vape juice budget.
Speaker A
That is an excellent guess, my friend, but you are also wrong.
Speaker C
Is it a Scion xb?
Speaker A
No. I have sitting in front of me the search result from AutoCheck, which tells me it is a 2011 Toyota Prius.
Speaker B
Okay.
Speaker C
Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
Speaker A
All right. That works. If you are our listener who owns the 2011 Prius license plate we registered in the state of Tennessee, please send us an email. We want to hear from you. We want to know your decision tree behind this.
Speaker B
We want to know how you would have built the device differently.
Speaker C
But still, we want to know if you have a weapon that surpasses Metal Gear.
Speaker A
Actually, I want to know if you live in Oak Ridge, because that would just be sweetly ironic, given the device.
Speaker C
Oh, God. My, my, my, my thing is saying it's trying to reconnect. Okay, it's working. Oh, no, it's doing it. I think my Internet's fine. I think it's computer.
Speaker A
All right. I believe the terrible humor of this podcast has just killed off our co host, Justin.
Speaker B
Oh, no.
Speaker A
Oh, we're going to play a really sad. We're going to play a really tiny, sad song for his demise.
Speaker B
Just make sure the song is pod safe. I don't want to get copyright struck.
Speaker A
It's an original composition and hopefully this tiny, sad song will revive him. Div. A really sad song to actually revive him.
Speaker C
Were you. Were you. Were you playing a sad song? Because I died. I was. I was the world's smallest violin.
Speaker A
Hey, we. On this podcast, we fully believe in the Top Gear philosophy of. Well, he died. Anyway, moving on.
Speaker C
I don't think my Internet's bad. I think my computer sucks and it's freezing up.
Speaker B
My last joke actually got me thinking, though. Subaru's leaving money on the table by not including an official accessory weight. It could even have a slot in the dash to charge.
Speaker A
That is money on the table for
Speaker C
Subaru branded vape juice cylinders.
Speaker B
Like, yeah, yeah, the vape juice flavor is Head gasket leak.
Speaker C
It's an official, it's an official part number.
Speaker A
Yes.
Speaker B
Tastes like, tastes like ethylene glycol motor oil and bitter gint.
Speaker A
And just a tiny, tiny hint of shade.
Speaker B
Oh, they don't have shame.
Speaker C
Their vape coils are flat, like horizontal instead of vertical. Like.
Speaker A
The only thing is I would just make sure it's an induction charger for the vape and there's a special slot in there because, you know, sometimes you just need a quick draw. And having the cable just plug, having the cable plug into the vape, it just takes too long to unplug. You just got to. Absolutely.
Speaker B
An induction charger.
Speaker C
I have a better idea.
Speaker B
I'm putting on my, I'm putting on my induction charger. The fanboys will jizz themselves.
Speaker C
No, I'm, I'm, I'm putting on my, I'm putting on my serious engineer hat. Okay, so the. Or marketing and engineer hat. So the market we're trying to reach here is the vaping Subaru crowd, of course, but they're gonna have their vape of choice. They're not going to want us to push a vape on them. What we have to do is we have to innovate something to make their vaping experience better while driving. So what that means is a, a vape filtration system. So you can vape with your windows up without getting everything all cloudy.
Speaker B
But I feel like for this, for your average Subaru owner, opening the window when you pull up somewhere and having the cloud of vape roll out is part of the appeal.
Speaker C
Well, you can turn it off.
Speaker B
Like what you need is a, is a hot boxing accessory that hooks up to your vape and moves air through it.
Speaker A
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker C
Okay. Yeah, okay, okay, okay. So there's two, there's, there's three modes to the vape filtration system. And, and, and it could potentially even have like a tube that comes down and goes next to your face so you can blow into it. Anyway, so the, the three modes are one, filter all the vape, filter everything very well. Two, you put a, you put a vape in a slot and it, it just, yeah, it puts it, it blows the vape through the, the vents and hot boxes the car. And then the third mode, the third mode is just off.
Speaker B
Wait, wait, actually, I've got this. It's better and it's easier to do because you can mostly repurpose stuff that's already there. Because what is, like, what does the car have? Since it has a Speed control for the fan. It has a fan blower resistor. Those get hot, you put a vape tank around the blower resistor and it goes right into the vents. So the vents are just a vape?
Speaker A
Yes.
Speaker C
You take a Honda Odyssey that has the vacuum in the back, you, you get, you make. We make a special edition that the rear cargo area, the rear like cavern cargo area where the seats fold into, it's paved with stone pavers and there's a fire pit and there's also possibly a crucible and the vacuum gets reversed and turns into a blower for the crucible. So you can be, you can forge things in the back of your Honda Odyssey more hotbox your Honda Odyssey with a freaking giant pile of weed burning.
Speaker B
I want to make it clear we're probably going to do more of these. But for anybody listening, all of these ideas are copyright patent pending, all of that. So if any of you automatic manufacturers want to use these ideas, we're gonna need mucho dinero.
Speaker C
The International Race of Hampians podcast is quite litigious. That is what we are known for.
Speaker B
I do have a lawyer on retainer. Yes, she's in the adjoining room. I can go get her at any time if I feel like we need it.
Speaker A
And I will also like to point out that we have a multi continental legal strategy here at the International, at the International Race of Hampians, which is a division of Hampians Broadcast International.
Speaker C
So if you happen to somehow win a court battle in the United States of America or heck, in Minnesota, well, it's going to happen again in Tennessee and if you win it at the Supreme Court, well, it's going to happen again in Brazil. You can't win. We're coming for you. So how's our, how's the revenue doing from our pot?
Speaker A
Let's see, how much have we spent collectively on microphones so far?
Speaker B
Well, let's see. I spent 20 and you spent.
Speaker C
I spent 0.
Speaker B
$40.
Speaker A
So we are currently $40 in the negative.
Speaker C
That's why we got to start suing people.
Speaker B
Yeah, these, these 30 racks of hams and vape juice don't buy themselves.
Speaker A
They don't. All right, so if you would like to not be sued by our podcast, please send us an email telling us how you would like to send us money. Mailbag.com.
Speaker B
I think I, I didn't mention earlier that we actually have the first reverse only fans where if you don't send us money every month, we will start taking our clothes off.
Speaker C
That's a That's a threat.
Speaker B
No. And I don't think anybody wants that.
Speaker A
No. They'd all go blind by the time y' all got around me, so.
Speaker C
Well, I don't know how we would convey that on an audio only format. Could we.
Speaker B
The description.
Speaker C
No, no. I think the best course of action would be would. The best thing to do. To do would to be make sound wave art. Oh, no, Caleb.
Speaker B
No. We lost kid.
Speaker C
Oh, no. Caleb died.
Speaker B
So, anyway, well, we've got him off. You want to turn your gain up just a little bit more. You're still super quiet over there.
Speaker C
I'll try.
Speaker A
Sorry about that. Has some minor technical difficulties.
Speaker B
While we're on the subject of if anyone wants to give us money, I just cracked Open a delicious M1 pilsner from Founders Brewery in Michigan. It's beautiful. It's got a nice Michigan license plate on it and it's delicious. Founders, if you're out there, we take cash or check or beer. Well, I'd take a six pack. I'd be very happy with a six pack. All right. We were talking about something. Caleb appears to have some sort of a rubber donut.
Speaker A
It is not a rubber donut. This is a lens filter.
Speaker B
For a second, I was worried you took that only fans comment seriously. And we're showing off a pack ring, but that looks to be at least an inch across, so that's way too big for any of us.
Speaker C
International Race of Champions, the podcast about cars and rings.
Speaker A
Lord, I apologize on their behalf on Sunday.
Speaker C
Oh, man.
Speaker B
On Sunday, I. I got special dispensation from the Pope. So it's okay.
Speaker C
Chicago Pope says it's okay.
Speaker B
My son, you know, he keeps being way more based than I ever thought I'd see out of the Catholic Church. And did you see, like, he has a buddy in Spain. Yeah. That he calls up and talks cars with.
Speaker A
So what I'm hearing is.
Speaker C
And he was. He got to drive the Ferrari Luce, like.
Speaker B
Yeah. So I think what we do is we try to.
Speaker C
Yeah.
Speaker B
We get the Pope to guest on Campions.
Speaker A
Let's do it.
Speaker C
That's a poll.
Speaker B
Because he's from Chicago. It can either be the international race of Old Stylians or the international race of Malortians.
Speaker A
Sounds like a good one.
Speaker C
Malortians.
Speaker B
And I know he'd also be down to talk Glizzy.
Speaker C
So, yes, Chicago dogs are the best. I will. Absolutely. I had a Chicago dog in Chicago and just about died with how good it was. So I will stand on that hill. Glizzies are. Are Phenomenal.
Speaker B
This may or may not take depending on who you are. The Maxwell street polish is better than the Chicago dog.
Speaker C
I haven't had one. I'll have to try 1.
Speaker B
Another ad spot Uncle Frankie's in northeast Minneapolis. Great. Maxwell Street Polish. Even better if you stop.
Speaker C
There's this one for a hot link. There's this one hot dog place out in like burbs of Chicago. Forget what it was called, but that place was so good. I'll have to find that place and give it a shout out at some point. But got me. Got me distracted. I completely forgot what I was going to say about Chicago.
Speaker B
Have you ever read the book Raw Dog by Jamie Loftus?
Speaker C
I have not, but I know about it.
Speaker B
Highly recommend.
Speaker C
I was just.
Speaker B
It's.
Speaker C
I was just listening to a podcast with her on it earlier.
Speaker B
Was it the episode of behind the Bastards with the orgasm cult?
Speaker C
No, I actually didn't listen to those episodes. I need to catch up on that. It was I think even More news. It was Some More News or Even More News. That's the name. That's the. It's the Some More News podcast or the. Some More News. The.
Speaker A
The.
Speaker C
I guess It's a YouTube show. But then they have like the Even More News podcast, I think.
Speaker A
James.
Speaker C
Yeah, the people who've guessed it before and stuff. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker B
That's another one. That was when she has any interesting takes about cars. But I would. Perfect. I'd be very happy to have her on the podcast as well. She seems like she'd be fun.
Speaker C
She just seems like a cool person.
Speaker A
If you are out there and one of our listeners send us an email we'd loved. We would love to have you on the show.
Speaker B
You can sign my copy.
Speaker A
Yeah.
Speaker C
I was listening to that earlier because
Speaker B
power was super great.
Speaker C
Yeah. Power was out and I had. The only thing I had to do was listen to downloaded podcast. So I was sitting outside and just listen to some podcasts and vibing. Sitting in the back of the stage here. You know, as one does.
Speaker A
Nice tailgating.
Speaker B
Nice to grill some brats while you're tailgating.
Speaker C
I wish. But our grills are electric here.
Speaker B
You can't really call it tailgating if you're not grilling any brats.
Speaker A
This is true.
Speaker C
I should put a. I should put a. I should put a hitch on the stagia and get a hitch grill.
Speaker B
Yes.
Speaker A
Oh yes.
Speaker B
Like unequivocal. Yes.
Speaker C
Like unironically. That sounds like an awesome idea actually.
Speaker B
Right.
Speaker C
And then a hitch grill and a roof box.
Speaker A
Why not both oh, yeah, why not both?
Speaker C
And then that's like the. That's the. To pull up to a car meet with, like, big time.
Speaker A
Absolutely.
Speaker C
Everybody's just sitting around like, ah, all right, this is kind of cool. Car meet and then you. You roll up with the grill and you got some dogs. It's all over.
Speaker A
No, man, like, you gotta roll up with a full cho setup, man. You know, got your linguista. Got your. You got your picanha, you know, just. You got your chicken hearts to grill. Like, just roll up hardcore, you know, do Brazilian. Do it Brazilian. Chu.
Speaker C
High school, straight up. I mean, you're gonna have to school me on that one because I would not know how to do it.
Speaker B
But, like, you ever been to like
Speaker C
a
Speaker B
completely blanking on the goddamn name now. Yeah, Fogo. Fogo. Or we've got one here now called Bulvino's that I actually like a little bit better.
Speaker A
Yeah, dude.
Speaker C
Let's see. I think Brazilios and Knoxville. I've never. I've never been there, but there is a Brazilian steakhouse or two in Knoxville.
Speaker A
Dude, the way Brazilian steakhouses work, you walk in, you sit down, they give you a card. It's green for bring me more meat and it's red for stop bringing meat.
Speaker B
Yeah, it's fantastic.
Speaker A
And you just been to some Turkish
Speaker B
baths that operate the same way.
Speaker C
Wouldn't it be Turkey A ish baths now?
Speaker B
I'm gonna call them what I want until they recognize the Armenian genocide.
Speaker C
Yeah, fair. Yeah, I was gonna just make a silly joke, but yeah, that is fair.
Speaker A
Them, I mean, they don't call you the glizzy Gladiator for nothing.
Speaker C
Dukes are up, man.
Speaker A
No. So if anyone would like to sponsor an in person meetup of all three hosts of a champions, please send us money so we can finance this and we can provide a proper Chuhashko experience for Justin and Gino for they need to understand.
Speaker C
I mean, I think the best course of action. Yeah, but I think the best course of action would be to fly us out to Brazil.
Speaker A
I know, but what I'm saying is we get some. We get a sponsor to pay for it and who would be a good y' all to a whole jeezial Fogo to show if y' all are out
Speaker B
there, take your money. Honestly, I'm pretty open to lose money. I'll take.
Speaker A
Wait, wait.
Speaker C
I know who. I know who we should try and. I know who we should try and schmooze. We should try and get Michelin to send us on a Michelin star Road trip. Oh yes.
Speaker A
Yeah.
Speaker C
The car that I've always wanted, that is the most, just like malaise ass that I. Well maybe not always wanted but I've wanted for, I've had a thing for it for a while is the dang W body Pontiac Grand Prix GXP coupe. Like the 93, like early 90s, like 91, 92, 93. Like the one that those. Like the ASC McLaren one.
Speaker A
Yep.
Speaker C
I think those are sick as hell. And if you get a. Not a gxp, a gtp. I think if you get the GTP like the perfect spec is like dark green gold basket weave looking wheels and a five speed manual. And there is one in that spec that was sold a few years ago and so it exists in the world and I need it now.
Speaker B
That's the one that was like what am I thinking here? Like the, the 90s ones with the, where the door handles on the B pillar.
Speaker C
I think so.
Speaker B
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I always liked those because I always thought the, the coupes looked cool like both those. And the Oldsmobile, I like the Oldsmobile one more actually. The Cutlass of that era.
Speaker C
Yeah.
Speaker A
Oh the Cutlass was good.
Speaker B
But I like cars with weird door handles which is why I drive old Volvos.
Speaker A
Ah yes, the classic intelligence test.
Speaker C
This is the perfect spec with a five speed manual. The special edition 1993.
Speaker B
Yep, that's the one I thinking of.
Speaker A
Yep, those are good looking cars and
Speaker C
I, I have some W body experience and I just know the W body is one of the most comfortable cars that has ever. Or one of the most comfortable platforms that has ever graced this, this beautiful planet.
Speaker A
When General Motors gets it right, they get it really really right.
Speaker B
Like, like, like everyone that's about my age. I once had a crush on a girl who drove a W body convertible.
Speaker C
See my ex girlfriend had a W body Impala.
Speaker A
So I feel like I'm that weird outlier because I never dated anyone with a W body and I never, I never had a crush on anyone with a W body but for me it was Saturn's.
Speaker C
Oh yeah, I can see that Saturns are great too.
Speaker A
And my first two crushes in high school drove the same Volvo 244 because the parents of one sold it to the parents of the other.
Speaker C
You know. Okay, you know what, you know what energy that W body Grand Prix gives off and the reason I kind of like it, it. I don't know if you can see what I'm kind of getting, getting at or where I'm coming from. But to me, it gives off stoner. It gives off weed. It gives off, like, I'm like, the car looking at. Like, if you sit in the seat, you feel high. Like, that is the sort of vibe that I get from that.
Speaker B
Yeah, I can see that.
Speaker A
Yeah, I see that. It's given off, like, mid-90s kind of SoCal vibes, you know, just kind of relaxed, chilling, one hand on the wheel. Yeah, Like, I'm digging it.
Speaker C
What I'm. What I'm. What I'm getting from it is young or young professional in Southern California or anywhere, really. But you probably. Southern California, who is a total beach bum stoner, but also made a decent amount of money and bought one of those new and is rolling around in a drug rug in, like, and taking a road trip to Baja California. And they're like. So they're like, classy, as in they. They bought the green one. You know, they. They like. They like the classy spec and everything. They're a classy person. They're. They're.
Speaker A
They're.
Speaker C
They're relatively wealthy, but they're also just, like, a total freaking vibe. They're like a Jeff Bridges. That's the sort of aura.
Speaker B
Yeah.
Speaker C
That car gives off.
Speaker A
Yep.
Speaker C
And that's why I like it, because I think it would just be the most comfortable thing in the planet to cruise around in. And it's just like. It's just cool in, like, that 90s 90s sort of. Like, I just like that 90s green. It's like the freaking Mariah boat. Those green accents are really green and gold together. Like, that 90s dark green and gold sort of vibe that a lot of things had is. That's just my. That is 1 million percent my shoe, dude.
Speaker A
I mentioned this car back in episode six, but a friend of mine actually had a 97 Aurora with the Autobahn package and the gold trim. Like, the gold trim package.
Speaker C
That's hot.
Speaker A
So the Autobahn means they took the speed limiter off. And of course, we all know what via Gold badge is. We all know what that is. And that car looked amazing, sounded even better than it looked, and is probably the single most comfortable car I have ever been in in my life. I mean, the Aurora, it is more comfortable than a Roadmaster.
Speaker C
Holy shit.
Speaker B
You know what I had that had really nice seats was my 88 Bonneville. It was beautiful. It didn't have the bench. It had the. The buckets up front, but they were fantastic.
Speaker C
The.
Speaker A
I think we are coming back around to a central tenet of this show, which is 80s and 90s General Motors was actually good. I don't care what the auto rags out in Ann Arbor said. I don't care what they say. You know, with the, you know, big, big car magazine out In Ann Arbor. 80s and 90s General Motors were. They were actually good. They were at the top of their game. Yeah, the plastic fell apart most of the time. Yeah, the trim pieces were crap. And yes, the wood had. The wood trim had much more in common with the disposable fork at your cookout than it did with anything that actually come from a tree. But they were relatively quiet, they were comfortable. They would run damn near forever, I would say.
Speaker C
And they were really innovative. They actually had a lot of engineering innovations during that time, I'd say more so than Ford or Chrysler.
Speaker A
Absolutely. If they could have gotten the build quality down, they would have given bubble era Japan a run for its money.
Speaker C
I just think it's funny because. Okay, so like the thing I had, the issue I have is that the cars, not the issue, but it's just amusing to me because the cars during that, that came out during that time, even if they are really good, it's just the styling of a lot of them. It's just hard to take seriously. They look like a, like a little tykes car. So especially, I mean, Pontiacs.
Speaker A
Oh yeah. But I mean, great example though, like,
Speaker B
like Pontiacs came factory looking down, like they went down that one aisle at AutoZone.
Speaker C
That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying is they look ridiculous. Except. Except for the only, the only Pontiac that I think pulled off that sort of like plastic fantastic look is the, that early 90s W body grand Prix. I think that they, that pulls it off.
Speaker A
Yeah.
Speaker C
Not much else does.
Speaker B
That's why I always liked the Oldsmobile better, is because the Oldsmobile didn't have all of that necessarily. It was a little clean, cleaner looking.
Speaker A
Yeah.
Speaker C
Could you get a.
Speaker B
Did you get.
Speaker C
Could you get manuals with the Oldsmobile?
Speaker B
I don't know. I wasn't trying.
Speaker C
I know it was rare on the. I know it was rare on the Pontiac, but you could on, on that Grand Prix. I know on some Oldsmobiles you could like the, with a quad four.
Speaker B
I feel like there was a third GM coupe on that body, but I can't remember. Like I don't think Buick Skylark. Oh yeah. The shit shark.
Speaker C
Yeah. I don't know if that's a W body, but I know that you could get that. No, I don't think it was, but you can get a quad four and a manual with it, I think.
Speaker B
No, it wasn't. The Skyler wasn't. But.
Speaker C
Oh, this. The, the, the. The.
Speaker A
The. The.
Speaker C
Not the century. The latest century later was W body. Early 90s. Did Buick have any. The W body. W. The W body lasted forever.
Speaker A
Circle back a little. It did. It really did. What I was going to say was I'd like to circle back to my thing about late 80s GM being able to go up toe to toe with anything during the Japanese bubble era. For example, the late 80s Buick Riviera. The thing had a freaking touchscreen in the dash in the late 80s. Beat the Japanese to market.
Speaker C
Beat everyone to market with certain innovations like that. Yeah. But I would say overall, all like, I would say overall stuff like the Lexus LS400. The engineering was far above and beyond anything GM was doing at the time. Really.
Speaker B
So they did alumina in that style as well is what it was.
Speaker A
Yeah.
Speaker C
So they did a.
Speaker A
What My thing with gm.
Speaker B
Oh, Chevy Lumina.
Speaker A
Yeah.
Speaker C
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker A
Alumina was good. But no, like, hear me out. It is not that GM did not have the engineering capability or quality of engineers. The implementation of it, due in part to the bean counter brigade is what hampered General Motors.
Speaker C
They didn't have the money. Yeah. The bubble era. The only reason why the Japanese brands were able to engineer shit so insanely is because they had like money was people were lighting money on fire like they didn't know what to do with it. They were like money was coming out of their ears.
Speaker A
I mean there was a point where a square meter of Tokyo real estate was, you know, image to its unit of just a ridiculous sum of money where an average Tokyo apartment was worth more than entire neighborhoods in the U.S. yeah.
Speaker C
And out of that we get the Stagia.
Speaker A
Yes. Out of that we got vistagia.
Speaker C
Or at least on the tail end.
Speaker A
I am firmly convinced that had GM's engineering not had the production constraints that they had, they could have gone toe to toe with and probably beat the Japanese at their own game.
Speaker C
They probably could have.
Speaker A
They were already doing way better engineering than the Germans.
Speaker B
I think you mean the Germans with,
Speaker C
with the resources they had. It was very impressive. But like they couldn't like they needed. But like they, they had. They like had to like outsource Lotus to make like a, a quad cam engine for the ZR1 vet. So they couldn't do everything because they didn't have like the money or the resources to like stand Forge or make aluminum blocks or something.
Speaker A
I believe Lotus at that time was partially owned by General Motors. I could be wrong, but I believe there was. There was already an ownership stake of Lotus, which is part of why Lotus was brought in to do Isuzu suspension tuning, for example. Because, remember, Isuzu was also owned by General Motors by that point. You know, like, they had their version of the J bodies. And so, like, there is already that relationship there. And if you look over at what GM Europe was doing, you had the Lotus Carlton, which was a Vauxhall Senator slash Opel Senator slash Chevy Omega.
Speaker C
The Carlton is one of my favorite cars of all time. One of my favorite cars of all time.
Speaker A
Yes. So, like, it's not that General Motors did not have the capability. It is that General Motors already had an ownership stake in a company that specialized in doing just that.
Speaker C
That's understandable. Well, they utilized it because the ZR1 kicks ass.
Speaker A
Yes, it did. So, yeah, yeah. Like, at that time, GM owned over 90% of Lotus. That's why Lotus did it.
Speaker C
Okay, that makes sense.
Speaker A
So, no, it was not bringing in outsiders to do it. It was taking advantage of. Oh, yeah. We brought. We bought this tiny company in England and they do this stuff every single day. We'll just let them do it instead. That's what they specialize in. We bought the expertise.
Speaker C
Okay, that makes sense. Yeah. I didn't know the full story on that. I think this is a calling that the. We need to pool our money together and buy a Oldsmobile Aurora.
Speaker A
I'm down. I mean.
Speaker C
And ship it to.
Speaker A
I would love to have an Aurora.
Speaker C
Yeah. In Brazil.
Speaker A
Ooh, that would be good. I mean, head gaskets might be a bit of a pain, but, I mean,
Speaker C
it's the price you have to pay
Speaker A
for the greatness of the Aurora version first. True. And is it.
Speaker C
Or you can find one that had already been done.
Speaker A
True. It's. And that Aurora V8 just sounds good, too. Yeah. Like it?
Speaker C
Yes, it does.
Speaker A
It. The car looks great. It sounds great. You know, it's super comfortable. I mean, it's. It is a masterpiece. The only problem with. Is that it's front wheel drive. Yeah.
Speaker C
I. I hate that. If that was. If that car was rear wheel. Rear wheel drive, that'd be an old time. I mean, more of an old timer than it already is.
Speaker A
All right, all right, listeners, y' all heard it here. Oldsmobile Aurora, one of the greatest cars of all time from General Motors.
Speaker C
True.
Speaker B
Can't fight that. It's a cool car.
Speaker A
It's a cool car. I drive one. Look at us is this.
Speaker B
I do think it's funny that we're kind of morphing into Malaise Era gm the podcast.
Speaker C
I mean, that's what I'm about, baby.
Speaker A
You know, Malaysia, gm, we got Malays era Chrysler. The Neon is just fantastic. I mean, the Neon is an amazing car.
Speaker B
The Neon I don't think counts as Malaise era because the Malaise era is why. Widely considered to have ended in 83, which is early but even late 80s neon is. Is a fully revitalized Chrysler product.
Speaker A
True. So, yeah, like this podcast, we're all about our 80s and 90s, GMs and Chryslers.
Speaker C
80s, 80s and 90s cars are the best cars.
Speaker A
So what I'm hearing is we are Radwood. We are like a cheaper version of Radwood the podcast.
Speaker C
Yeah. Although I guess, I guess for, for me, I can extend that from my. My entry. My era of cars is like 80s to 2000s, I would say is good.
Speaker A
Yeah.
Speaker C
Anything like anything from the 20s on. I've just not every. Obviously there's been exceptions that I think are good, but overall, just not enough good cars.
Speaker A
Yeah, I'd say I'd put my era anywhere between this 60s and about 2012, 2013 or so. Yeah. I mean, much past that starts getting over complicated and much before that. I mean, I don't understand points. I do not understand ignition points. I have zero intention of understanding ignition points.
Speaker B
Anything before that.
Speaker C
If, if I have. If it's a 6 volt system, I. I'm not. I'm not working on it.
Speaker A
Exactly. I mean, that's pretty much how I feel. It has to have 12 volt electrics. It needs 12 volt electrics and it needs to be easily converted to at least breakerless, if not electronic ignition.
Speaker C
Those are my parameters.
Speaker A
And so. Yeah, I think we have cast a pod, gentlemen.
Speaker C
Yeah, I think we have. So there's a mosquito on my microphone.
Speaker B
Unless you're Caleb, clean your points. They're probably dirty.
Speaker C
Don't forget to check your oil.
Speaker A
It's probably low.
Speaker C
Yeah.
Speaker A
All right, y', all, we'll see y' all next time. Bye.