HBI transcript service
EP 17: From Dolly to Dajiban
Where the guys pay tribute to Dolly, discuss Dajibans, mobility solutions and more
Broadcast page and notes Original Pinecast transcript Complete archive
This is an automatically generated transcript and may contain errors.
Caleb
Y'all are listening to the International Race of Hammpions on Northern Mississippi's home for yesterday's top country hits, 91.1 The Wiz. Kossuth - Rienzi - Tishomingo. Good morning and welcome to the International Race of Champions, coming to you live from where you get your broadcast. On tonight's episode, we have MV1s, we have road trips, we have a tribute to the greatest Tennessean. And so to kick it off tonight, I'm Caleb, and I'm joined here with Gino, and of course, the one, the only, But only the juice. Unfortunately, we have a tragic loss to begin this episode. Unfortunately, we have lost the greatest Tennessean. One of the few reasons I still had to be proud of my home state.
Justin "The Juice"
Possibly the greatest American.
Caleb
Quite possibly.
Geno
Top 5 material for sure.
Justin "The Juice"
She will be very much missed. I, I, I mean, it was fitting that the whole way up here on the road trip I was taking, I was listening to bluegrass. And then I get up here and then she passes and I'm like, well, I guess I'm listening to more bluegrass now.
Caleb
Amen, brother. Amen.
Geno
One of the one of the best things I saw somebody say about this is regardless of what you believe personally, you can be sure that Dolly's gone to a better place because any place where she is is better than any place where she is not.
Justin "The Juice"
That's that's fucking true.
Caleb
Amen. Amen, brother. No, that one. Oh Lord, that one kind of hit me hard too, because I mean, being Tennesseans of a certain age, like, I was just a little bit too old for like the Imagination Library to, you know, hit me, but definitely like it was a part of my brothers, you know, coming up. And I remember first— hell, first amusement park I ever went to was Dollywood.
Justin "The Juice"
Yep. No, that's, that's my, that's my main connection from childhood is I honestly didn't listen to a ton of her music or anything until more recently. Um, but Dollywood was also always a part of my childhood. So like, I, I was always— I always knew she was great.
Geno
Yeah, I really wanted to, uh, We were out last year for a work thing for Anne. We were in Nashville and I just, we did not have time for me to make the diversion to Pigeon Forge, but.
Justin "The Juice"
Yeah, it is a little bit out there, you know, but.
Caleb
Yep. But that, and you know, I remember my grandparents, 'cause my grandparents were big into country music, you know, Johnny Cash, Dolly, Reba, the greats, really.
Geno
Mm-hmm.
Caleb
And I mean, hell, my first crush was on Jody Messina. If, you know, just kind of, uh, putting that out there, you know, like, I grew up with country music. Yeah, I grew up with Dolly being a part of my life, part of, uh, my musical landscape, and, uh, We had 3 radio stations in my hometown. We had the country station, the contemporary Christian station, and the Christian talk station, except on Sunday when they all became evangelical preaching stations.
Justin "The Juice"
Sounds about right.
Caleb
And, uh, but yeah, like, listen to a lot of Dolly. You know, riding with my grand— you know, my grandma to school, or, you know, mom was more of a Rock 92.3 sort of person, and my dad definitely was. But no, it was like with my grandparents, I got a love of country, and, you know, with my parents, I got a love of rock, and my dad, love of just kind of that Tennessee music tradition in general.
Justin "The Juice"
Yeah, unfortunately, when I was— I've only gotten more into country and especially bluegrass. I'm a big fan of, but I've only gotten more into country since college, really. Back growing up, I mean, my whole— no one in my family really liked country, did not listen to it. And, you know, had a bit of a stupid, you know, chip on my shoulder growing up because, you know, my family are like Northerners. So it's like, you know, I'm not listening to the dumb, you know, country music because it's dumb. And admittedly, um, the stuff that was on the radio at the time when I was growing up was pretty trash, you know, a lot of the sanitized post-9/11 country music and shit.
Geno
Oh, that's some, that's some rough times.
Justin "The Juice"
So that's, so that's how I had a bad taste in my mouth from country music because of that. But after just, you know, know, getting more into the old school stuff. I was like, this— yeah, radio country was trash. It's getting better these days. But it was trash.
Caleb
I mean, I guess I was lucky in that regard. Because I grew up with— I grew up with Johnny, I grew up with Willie Nelson, Dolly, obviously, Kris Kristofferson.
Justin "The Juice"
Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Those are the people who I got into. Yeah. The greats. Exactly. Those are the people I got into at first and, you know, expanded from there. Still don't listen to a ton of— I would say, like, I still don't listen to a ton of country, like specifically country country. But I guess I consider bluegrass its own thing and It has been. Yeah, it has. It has been more recent, I will say, like literally like this year. But I am on a binge right now. Oh yeah.
Geno
Now there's a— like, it's a— it's such a deep and rich genre that people who just dismiss it out of hand are really doing themselves a disservice. You miss out on so much stuff.
Justin "The Juice"
I mean, yeah, like, I mean, what's the wildest thing is that one of the newer bluegrass songs I was listening to on the trip up here. Um, it's freaking, uh, it's a band called Mountain Grass Unit, and they're really good. Um, and, uh, what's the song called? Uh, it's not like— it's not Sacrifice. What is it called? I, I, I— if I can find it really quick, I will, but I won't, I won't waste a ton of time with it. But basically what was crazy about it, what it reminded me of, was the first thing I thought of. I was like, this is just like, uh, uh, like an ED— not an ED— it was like an EDM song, but it's not an EDM song. It's a bluegrass song. But I meant the, the, the, uh, freaking— why can't I think? Uh, because I'm trying to look for it. What's it called? It's called Suspicion. Suspicion by Mountain Grass Unit. The chorus, the, uh, the melodies, uh, and the harmony and, um, the structure of the song. I was like, this would be like— you could cover this as like an EDM song with like some like really haunting, uh, female vocals and it would be like insanely good. This is like the EDM shit that I love, except it's just a bluegrass song. And I was like, I kind of want to do a freaking, uh, uh, EDM remix of it or some shit.
Caleb
Oh, bless your heart. Bless your heart.
Geno
No. And then one of the artists I think, like, I'll put this like, you get to, you can do a lot of better, um, you know, if you're avoiding that stadium country stuff. And that's what I think of, like, you need to get more into the folksy side of country music.
Justin "The Juice"
Yeah, that's what I really appreciate.
Geno
There's a really good-ass side of country music. You can go, you can go like Old Crow, or you could go for some John Prine.
Caleb
Ooh, John Prine's good.
Geno
John Prine is fantastic.
Justin "The Juice"
John Prine, all right, I'll have to keep that in mind.
Geno
Yeah, uh, like John Prine is a, is a king. That, that legend gave us Angel from Montgomery, and that song is just perfect in every way.
Caleb
It is, it is. Now, kind of going on with bluegrass track though, um, I don't know how much, uh, bluegrass— I know, Justin, you, you're in here from East Tennessee, you listen to a lot of bluegrass. But, uh, there's a band, you know, from my neck of the woods called Breaking Grass, you know, just crossed the line in Tishomingo County, Mississippi. And, uh, their song Witches of Harlan, I tell you what, there ain't— there ain't hardly a better driving song for about 2 o'clock in the morning. You know, just got the full moon out, just running wide through it, you know, dark humid southern night. You know, a full moon out, you know, just little wisps of cloud here and there. You know, kind of that sultry heat, you know, you know what I'm talking about from the deep South.
Justin "The Juice"
Yeah.
Caleb
It just kind of sinks into your bones and the kind of night you would read about in a Faulkner novel. And the wind is down. Sunroof open, turbo Volvo wagon, just let her fly.
Justin "The Juice"
Hold on a second, I'll be right back.
Geno
And this is, uh, not everybody likes that vibe, but I love a hot day windows down drive. Sometimes it's almost better than the air conditioning.
Caleb
You know, in the interest of, uh, in the interest of marital peace, I will not agree with this statement because I did promise I would put air conditioning in the Fiat.
Geno
I'm not saying I don't like air conditioning. There are some times when it's absolutely indispensable. But there are some warm nights where the windows down is a superior vibe.
Caleb
And I think part of it too is with the, like, with the windows down vibe, there's a difference between windows down out in the country and windows down when you're rolling through the middle of Buenos Aires or Rio de Janeiro. At 2 o'clock in the morning.
Geno
Mm-hmm.
Caleb
I mean, would I go windows down, you know, on the Jorovia? Absolutely. Would I go windows down outside of my gated community in that area immediately outside it? Probably not at night. There ain't nothing though, there ain't nothing as good as You know, summer's night, full moon, windows down, just let her ride out in the country. And now a word from our advertisers. Psst, Tavarish, you want automobile?
Justin "The Juice"
Come on down to Crazy Ivan's Automotive Center. We have every car you could possibly dream of. Lada. Lada. Lada.
Caleb
Cars?
Justin "The Juice"
Trabant and Lada. Disregard black Volga. It is not for sale. It is nobody's car, and it's already following you. Go quietly into trunk, sign da on the dotted line, and we take care of all of the details and all of the paperwork.
Caleb
WYZN, Kosuth, Renzi, Tishomingo. And which, that reminds me, I need to put some light bars on the Fiat.
Justin "The Juice"
Oh yeah, Fiat needs light bars.
Caleb
Yep, because I would like to do a late night run out somewhere. Does that have some good light bars?
Justin "The Juice"
The, um, what's, what's Tale of the Dragon in Portuguese?
Caleb
I don't know, but I want to find out. I mean, I know what the Portuguese Portuguese version is. I don't know what the Brazilian version is.
Geno
Did, on that note, did we ever figure out Ruby Ridge?
Caleb
We have not. We have not found Ruby Ridge in Portuguese yet.
Justin "The Juice"
I don't know if you want to find it.
Geno
I feel like that's too spicy for our merch even.
Justin "The Juice"
Yeah, maybe not for the merch.
Caleb
No, that one's a little spicy for us. Which, speaking of our merch though, um, talked to the fellas over at, you know, the screen printing shop and, uh, Right, and y'all are a little small for us, but they have a partner firm that is union. Uh, problem is they don't do like the union-made shirts, they only do USA-made, but the printing shop itself is union. So I gave them a holler and I should hear back from them in a, I don't know, about a few days, and we'll see what's going on because It would be nice to get some good, you know, Union Bug, Union Made merchandise out into the hands of our loyal listeners. We are trying. We are trying.
Justin "The Juice"
Especially with the, uh, with the couple ideas we were brainstorming. Uh, Ouija board for Lehigh Iacocca.
Caleb
Absolutely.
Geno
That one, the, uh, the hot dish.
Justin "The Juice"
Yeah, hot diggity.
Caleb
Absolutely.
Justin "The Juice"
And then, uh, I, I'm feeling a, um, uh, chibi Chrysler K-car, but it's a K-car. It's a K-E-I car. K-car. And it's chibi style.
Caleb
The K-car K-car.
Justin "The Juice"
K-car K-car.
Caleb
You need to be careful though, because, uh, one more K and it turns into something completely different.
Geno
Something you push off of a bridge with a rope around it.
Justin "The Juice"
Freaking—
Caleb
yeah, no, that's the kind of thing you run off a bridge with a black and white 1974 Dodge Monaco.
Justin "The Juice"
Yeah, yeah, I was about to say, I was about to say, uh, what did the, uh, what did the Illinois Nazis drive?
Geno
What did they drive?
Caleb
Uh, Pintos mostly.
Justin "The Juice"
Yeah, checks out. They should, they should go up in a ball of flames.
Caleb
I agree with that. No, it's a— I gotta— I need to rewatch that movie. That is actually, Banville, one of my, one of my goals living down here. has been to introduce anyone and everyone to The Blues Brothers, for it is a masterpiece.
Geno
Hot take, hot take. And I'm going to preface this by saying, love The Blues Brothers, it's great. It is still the second best Saturday Night Live movie.
Caleb
What is the best one?
Geno
The best one is Undisputedly, in my opinion, Wayne's World. Okay, uh, I love The Blues Brothers. The Blues Brothers is also about 35 minutes too long.
Justin "The Juice"
Yeah, I'm gonna stay on camp. I'm gonna stay on camp, uh, uh, Blues Brothers, but I have seen both. and I am a big fan of both. I'm still gonna stay on Camp Blues Brothers.
Geno
I mean, that's fine.
Justin "The Juice"
I'm just glad you didn't say Night at the Roxbury.
Geno
No, I actually— I was gonna say It's Pat. Oh man, Stuart Saves His Family. That's right, nobody even remembers that that movie exists because nobody cares.
Justin "The Juice"
Yeah, no. Yeah.
Geno
No matter how many former Minnesota senators were in it. I mean, you know, this is the kind of hard-hitting automotive content people come to us for.
Justin "The Juice"
Yeah.
Caleb
Hey, we are multidisciplinary members of the intelligentsia.
Justin "The Juice"
Yeah, there's no reason—
Geno
I think more accurately, we're not Undisciplined at all and just know a bunch of dumb shit about everything.
Justin "The Juice"
And that's what makes us charming.
Caleb
And what gives your head— your editor a migraine at night.
Geno
That and the fact that we're all solid 9s.
Justin "The Juice"
Yeah, yeah, that's why this is definitely a video medium. Yep.
Geno
I, I, uh, I considered adding a 4.6 mod motor to the stable today and, uh, It was, uh, it was great. I loved every single thing about the vehicle. Uh, the APG MV-1 is, uh, it's a very interesting thing to drive. It's, uh, basically a Ford truck built to haul a wheelchair around, and it does a great job at it. It is unfortunately Too wide with the ramp extended to fit in my garage.
Justin "The Juice"
Ooh.
Caleb
Sad.
Justin "The Juice"
Sad. Very sad.
Geno
Or let me, let me rephrase that. It could fit in my garage and the ramp could extend, but it would be up against the wall and my wife would not be able to get in or out.
Caleb
Ooh, that's—
Justin "The Juice"
That's what a crane's for.
Geno
I mean, I won't lie, I did think about building like a contraption to get her up and over, but at that point it just seemed silly.
Justin "The Juice"
No, that is silly.
Caleb
Yeah, I don't think she would go for it.
Geno
No, especially when we do have a perfectly good and, in all fairness to it, fairly low-mile 2006 Chrysler Town and Country.
Justin "The Juice"
If it does the job, it does the job.
Caleb
It is a cromulent piece of transportation.
Geno
Like, it, it does the thing we need it to do, and the, the 3.3 V6 does get better mileage than the 4.6 mod motor.
Justin "The Juice"
Does it have 2 valves though?
Geno
Yeah, on each cylinder.
Caleb
All right, there we go.
Justin "The Juice"
That's all you need.
Caleb
2 valve, all you need.
Justin "The Juice"
But can you slap a Kenny Bell supercharger on it?
Geno
The amount of dumb things I've thought about doing to that van. I still, like, I still toy with the idea of— and I will never get spousal approval for this because it would mean her van was down pretty much indefinitely— but I would love to do a supercharged 3.8 swap in that.
Caleb
Ooh, that'd be good.
Justin "The Juice"
You said it earlier, hundred shot.
Geno
What the little girl from the from the taco commercial? Por qué no los dos?
Caleb
True.
Justin "The Juice"
True.
Caleb
Man.
Justin "The Juice"
All-wheel drive swap it too.
Geno
That's tougher to do with the dropped floor.
Justin "The Juice"
Oh, true. Um, well, that just means you have to lift it.
Geno
Manages by having the rear axle be an electric motor.
Justin "The Juice"
No, no, you just gotta lift it. That means—
Geno
I mean, I feel like if I'm gonna do that, I just go back to I go somewhere and find the, uh, find a nice example of one of the, uh, the wheelchair-converted Astro vans.
Caleb
Yeah.
Geno
Which she did used to have before we met.
Caleb
Here's a thought, and hear me out here because we're about to tie it all together. The moment we have all been building toward for 17 episodes, almost 18, 18 if we count episode 0. Your wife needs a Dodgebine.
Geno
You're not wrong.
Justin "The Juice"
I think we found the answer.
Caleb
V10 Dodgebine.
Justin "The Juice"
With side pipes.
Caleb
Absolutely side pipes. V10 dodgy bun side pipes.
Justin "The Juice"
Melt the wheelchair wheels off every time you get in and out.
Geno
It seems like a really, really great idea that she wouldn't hate.
Caleb
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, can you imagine the sound though when you go wide open throttle?
Geno
Oh, I mean, like, I would love to haul ass around in a V10 Dodgey Bon.
Caleb
Y'all are listening to the International Race of Champions on Northern Mississippi's home for yesterday's top country hits, 91.1 The Wiz. Kosuth Renzi Tishamingo.
Justin "The Juice"
And I just— now that I made it up here to Sandusky, uh, I found my, um, my cot-sized air mattress that fits perfectly in the back of the Stagea with the seats down.
Geno
Yeah.
Justin "The Juice"
So I think I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna use that to camp out at the, uh, GTR vs. the Dragon meet in October if I can, uh, because that's, that's where all the Stageas meet up at.
Caleb
You know, speaking of that, Gino, you going to Mountain Meat this year?
Geno
I don't think so. When is that again?
Caleb
I think it's coming up. I don't remember if it's like late September, early October.
Geno
Let me look here.
Justin "The Juice"
But, uh, oh, and, uh, speaking of, speaking of being up here in Sandusky, uh, I won't be able to make that this year. Oh, shame.
Caleb
No, that is a shame because, uh, I was just thinking about orchestrating at least 2 out of the 3 Hampians getting together live.
Justin "The Juice"
That would be great. We got to do it sometime. Nonetheless, real fun. Um, so my, my 4.6 mod motor made it all the way up here, uh, and I can confirm that, uh, giving it an alignment and and a tire balance really helped immensely for the shakiness it had on the highway. And, uh, filling up the, um— I was gonna do the, the rear diff pinion seal because it was leaking, but at the very least— but I didn't really have time to do it without like rushing it, and I didn't want to like accidentally mess it up before a long-ass road trip. So, um— Oh, that's a cool-ass drink. So, uh, I, uh I ended up just topping off the rear diff fluid and the front diff fluid, and the front wasn't too low, uh, but the rear was almost empty, which it's, uh, I don't think it's really ever been, uh, changed, uh, so, uh, because the amount of schmutz that was on the, uh, the magnetic plug was not, uh, very heartening, um, and that kind of explains why it, it whines a little bit from the back too, which ain't, ain't great. But you know.
Caleb
Everyone needs a little schmutz though.
Justin "The Juice"
Yeah, I took the schmutz off, topped it off. It made it up here just fine, and it's gonna tow a U-Haul trailer all the way back just fine, I'll tell you right now. Uh, but I'll update—
Caleb
4.6 mod motor.
Justin "The Juice"
4.6 mod motor. But I'll update you when that happens. So I'll, I'll—
Caleb
the next episode, it'll be the tales of towing 8 hours with a 4.6 mod motor, 2-valve. Ooh-wee!
Justin "The Juice"
Yeah, buddy, without the towing package.
Caleb
Hey, it's fine. Towing package is overrated.
Justin "The Juice"
You don't need it.
Caleb
Don't need it. Of course, speaking of stuff that has towing packages, God, I miss my Roadmaster.
Justin "The Juice"
Oh, Roadmasters are so good. I should put a hitch on the fucking Stagea.
Caleb
You should, you should.
Justin "The Juice"
I bet you that 4-speed can take a lot.
Caleb
Yeah, probably, probably. You know what else can take a lot?
Justin "The Juice"
An AW70.
Caleb
Mm-hmm.
Geno
Not as much as an AW71.
Caleb
Hey, a 70 is all you need though.
Justin "The Juice"
I, I wonder, I wonder if the Stagey could tow the pontoon boat. The 4.6 mod motor can.
Caleb
Give her a shot, see what happens.
Justin "The Juice"
It would be hilarious to try.
Caleb
What you need is a Roadmaster though.
Justin "The Juice"
You're right.
Caleb
You need to master the road. You need to become the roadmaster of your own destiny.
Justin "The Juice"
What happens if you're towing a Harley Road King with a Buick Roadmaster? Like, do you just enter another dimension?
Caleb
In which case you are both the king— you are the master and the king. You have dominion over all. Your wheels reign over the pavement which they touch.
Justin "The Juice"
And then that trailer is towing a Road Glide.
Geno
Yes.
Justin "The Juice"
There's nothing— I'm just fucking around.
Geno
Man.
Justin "The Juice"
You're gliding across the road that you are the king and master of.
Caleb
Well, of course. I mean, you can't be, uh, You can't be one of those peasants who lets their feet touch the ground.
Justin "The Juice"
And in the glove box, Astroglide. That's, that's the rig to roll up to the car show with and have your, have your boomer— you got your boomer sign out in front. You pop the glove box open just so they know what you're dealing with.
Caleb
Hey, you got to be— you got to be upfront with the expectations. You got to set your expectations upfront. Or in the case of Astroglide, out back.
Justin "The Juice"
There we go. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. All right, we got it. Oh, I knew that, I knew that was gonna come around to a good joke. All right, something was gonna come around at least.
Geno
Yeah, it's a bit of a reach.
Justin "The Juice"
Oh, I had to wake up the sleepy episode a little bit.
Geno
Oh yeah. Yeah, let's see. Let's see. In other news, I finally got the correct plates for my 940.
Justin "The Juice"
Yeah, thank thank goodness because that was a shame.
Geno
Yeah, yeah, because I originally had gotten I had ordered the moose, the Minnesota critical habitat moose plates, and they sent loon plates, which for a Swedish vehicle doesn't make a lick of sense. As, as great as the common loon is.
Caleb
I mean, 1/3 of this podcast is hosted by one. I'm sorry, broadcast.
Geno
3/3, let's be honest.
Justin "The Juice"
Yeah, I was gonna say, the loon's in the driver's seat. You don't need a plate to share.
Caleb
Tales of Loon. So the real question is, when are you adding a prancing moose?
Geno
Um, I have them sitting around, so probably soon. I'm halfway through putting on the, the 440 side markers.
Caleb
Oh nice.
Geno
As you can see, there's—
Justin "The Juice"
Nice. I need to, uh, now, now that's inspired me. I should, I should like 3D print a prancing unicorn. For the Stagia.
Caleb
Yeah, I wonder how you do a prancing cannoli.
Geno
I mean, um, I think for the Fiat, maybe just a prancing James Gandolfini.
Justin "The Juice"
Oh yes.
Geno
I think they can all hear the, the hand motion we're doing. Hey, give me some of that Gabagool!
Justin "The Juice"
Prancing Gabagool.
Caleb
Oh man, a Prancing Gabagool. Y'all heard it here, folks.
Geno
There's more merch.
Caleb
Yeah.
Justin "The Juice"
Oh my God.
Caleb
Oh man, just you gotta have a prancing gabagool and it needs to be singing Bella Ciao.
Justin "The Juice"
That could be your horn.
Geno
Oh, Bella Ciao, Bella Ciao, ciao, ciao.
Caleb
You know, I think you're on something with the horn, though. I mean, if folks didn't have, you know, the traitor song as a horn, those of us on the right side of history can have Bella Ciao as a horn.
Justin "The Juice"
I mean, it's not the traitor song. If you look at the— if you— if the version you think of first is the Sherman one.
Caleb
You make a good point.
Justin "The Juice"
'Cause I don't think of, I don't think of it being, see my, whenever I hear that, all I think is, you know, oh, way down, down in Atlanta, traders, they know stakes. Yeah. Yeah. That's, and that's a good one.
Geno
Shout out to Tennessee Ernie Ford.
Caleb
Yeah.
Geno
Yeah. Amen.
Caleb
Tennessee Ernie. This broadcast is a huge fan of Tennessee Ernie Ford. Officially endorsed by the International Race of Champions. And that's how you know he's gonna make the big time.
Justin "The Juice"
Is that what— is that what the truck's name should be? Tennessee Ernie? Tennessee Ernie. You know, it's always been Big Blue, but I think it might need— it might need a secondary name. Tennessee Ernie's a good one.
Caleb
It is a good one. So, man, real question is, when are you putting the Jazz Cat on?
Justin "The Juice"
Jazz Cat's going on the stage here as soon as I get it registered in Tennessee, which will be happening as soon as I get back from Ohio.
Caleb
Go Vols!
Justin "The Juice"
Go Vols, baby!
Caleb
I feel dirty just saying that.
Justin "The Juice"
Rawr, now stop.
Geno
I hope we can just figure out a way to trick him into saying War Damn Eagle.
Caleb
Are you tired? Listless? Do you wake up in the morning and feel like the world is going to hell? You need Delta Force Appalachian Snail Extract. That's right, y'all. Delta Force Appalachian Snail Extract to help defend your mind and your body From the globalist New World Order agenda, Appalachian snail extract gives you a smoother brain and healthier bowel movements. Y'all are listening to the International Race of Hampions on Northern Mississippi's home for yesterday's top country hit, WYZN Kosuth. Renzi Tishomingo.
Justin "The Juice"
Oh, I'm excited for your France trip. I'm gonna live vicariously through you.
Geno
Yeah, it's gonna be fun.
Justin "The Juice"
Oh yeah.
Geno
Well, I got a trip coming up too, so.
Caleb
Oh, where are you heading?
Geno
We're heading to Alaska.
Caleb
Oh nice. That one's gonna be good. Yeah, no, I've never, I've never been to Alaska and I want to go.
Geno
Nor have I. We're doing a— we're doing Alaska cruise.
Justin "The Juice"
Okay, that's gonna be fun.
Geno
I don't know if I'm a cruise person, but I feel like it's probably the best way to see the most of Alaska.
Caleb
Yeah, probably.
Justin "The Juice"
Yeah, and I feel like if I was to go on a cruise, that'd probably be one of my more preferred ones. I'd be like— because like, uh, an Alaska cruise sounds like a blast. A Caribbean cruise or whatever, I'm like, nah, just throw me on a boat out there.
Geno
It's like, I feel like with the Caribbean, it's like, just plop me on any island. They're all the same.
Justin "The Juice"
Yeah, exactly. I mean, somebody's probably gonna get offended by that, but yeah, exactly.
Geno
Plop me on an island, let me sit on a beach and drink myself into a stupor.
Justin "The Juice"
Yes, exactly. Because that's all you're trying to do when you're out in the, the, and, you know, in the tropics like that, in the Caribbean like that. But out in Alaska, yeah, you got— you want to like Yeah, it's just a different thing. You want— you don't want to be outside necessarily. So you want to look at the outside. But I guess depending on the type of time of year, but even then it's still probably cold.
Geno
And see, for me, coastal Alaska is pretty nice.
Justin "The Juice"
And you're used to the cold.
Caleb
Coastal Alaska ain't bad. At least from what I read, I heard it ain't bad. But all right. All right. Oh man. I'm just with a Caribbean, you know, with a Caribbean, I'm just like, Hey, get me a lawn chair and a coconut. I'm good.
Justin "The Juice"
Yep. Yep. That's what I'm saying.
Caleb
Alaska. My take on Alaska though. Yeah. Throw about 3 or 4 more salmon up on a grill there now.
Justin "The Juice"
Yeah, I think, uh, I think I'd want to go up in a bush plane.
Caleb
But see, I want to drive, like, I want to drive the Panamericana. From north to south or south to north. It don't matter, but I want to drive the Pan-American Highway.
Justin "The Juice"
In a Volvo.
Caleb
Ideally. I mean, get an old Volvo turd blow and, uh, you know, turn up the boost a little bit and let her ride.
Justin "The Juice"
I'll do it in the Stagea. And then just wait until the strut towers rust out.
Caleb
No, I have, you know, if I didn't have this pesky thing called a day job, which is why our broadcast network needs to take off and we need to make money off of it.
Justin "The Juice"
Yeah.
Caleb
Cause I gotta, so we can all retire.
Justin "The Juice"
Yeah. Cause I'm, I'm in the market looking for a job right now and, uh, I'm not looking forward to starting regular scheduled work again.
Caleb
But, uh, no, we need— if anyone wants to, uh, just pay us to drive the Pan-American Highway or, I don't know, Berlin to Shenzhen.
Justin "The Juice"
Ooh, that sounds fun. We could be— we're 3 dudes. We could do— we could have Top Gear.
Caleb
Yeah, we could.
Geno
Yeah, we could.
Justin "The Juice"
I mean, in high school, I was Captain Slow. All my other friends, friends were driving like bats out of hell. And I was like screaming in the back, like, slow down. And then I drive like a grandma everywhere. So I was known as Captain Slow by my high school friends.
Caleb
See, I was not, but I ran around with friends who did stuff like pack a dozen people into a Suzuki Suzuki Esteem.
Justin "The Juice"
I mean, I'd do that too. It's just, I'd drive it real slow.
Caleb
And my personal car, I had an early '90s Sentra, B13 chassis is a good one, you know, that I, I'd fling around back roads and, you know, just I get, you know, step tail out a little bit, you know, wide open because it was the last generation with a fully independent rear and I put SCR rear sways on it.
Geno
Ooh.
Caleb
The rear sway though, not the front. So it would— so the back end was a little bit more lively, a little bit more neutral handling. And there were, there were a few times where I lifted the inside rear.
Justin "The Juice"
I think oddly enough, I drive significantly faster in the damn Expedition than I do in my actual sporty cars that I've had, just because it's so high up. It just doesn't feel like you're cooking it when you're really cooking it. And I also just love thrashing that thing because I'm so— that actually, I probably have the most experience thrashing. Oddly enough, because of how many times I, uh, like just yeeted it in gravel or, uh, in the snow. Like, I, I— that was my dedicated, uh, anytime it snowed in Tennessee, I would take that thing out and absolutely go ham. I would do mangies down—
Caleb
Wow.
Justin "The Juice"
I was doing mangies down Kingston Pike, uh, whenever it snowed. Like the, um, I think it was 20— was it? What was it, 2013-14? In high school was one of those, one of those winters. It had snowed actually a good bit in Knoxville. And the roads were empty.
Caleb
Yeah.
Justin "The Juice"
And I was sideways down the wrong side of the road, like, for like 4 hours straight.
Caleb
I remember, I remember that late season snow that 2013-14 winter. I remember kind of that late, you know, late winter snow that came down. That was pretty good. Because I— my daily was a Fiat Spider. Yeah. With a roof leak.
Geno
And we heard Fiat Spider already.
Justin "The Juice"
Yeah, it's expected.
Geno
Why are you repeating yourself?
Caleb
And, uh, the heater worked pretty good when you got going down the road, but the fan didn't.
Justin "The Juice"
Yeah, I just remember having my friends like 5 deep in the Expedition and I would like Gymkhana in a parking lot.
Caleb
Oh man.
Justin "The Juice"
It was great. No, I'd like— there'd be like a— there'd be like a, like, um, 2, um, medians, like, uh, like, um, with, you know, tree planters and whatnot on them. Yeah, you know, the in-between would just be wide enough, just barely wide enough for that Expedition to fit through sideways. And I would like, kept, kept sliding through sideways. And I never hit the curb.
Caleb
Oh man, of course. I remember this was freshman year of college or so, freshman, sophomore year. I had mama's old Suzuki SX4 back when it was new. And yeah, I'd just send it down some of those back roads in the Cumberland Plateau. And, uh, you know, a friend of mine, you know who I'm talking about, had a Prelude.
Geno
Yeah.
Justin "The Juice"
Oh yeah.
Caleb
And, uh, Condata. I tuned that car.
Justin "The Juice"
Yep.
Caleb
And, uh, I remember I remember we were running from Cookville up to, I think it was Crossville on the back roads there up in Cumbercombe Plateau. And it was kind of fun because, you know, I just, it's kind of like I did with you when I had this wagon out on the Dragon. It was, uh, I just, I just run away when the road got twisty.
Justin "The Juice"
Yep.
Caleb
Man.
Justin "The Juice"
Now the, uh, the freaking Expedition is way more predictable when driven hard, uh, than it has any right to be, which is why it's so much fun to drive it hard, whether it's in the snow, dirt, or on dry, uh, on a dry back road. It doesn't mean it's any good, you know. The steering is, you know, not communicating jack shit. Uh, it's a freaking truck. Um, but it's got cloth seats, uh, and the, the the fold-down armrest that turns into a bench seat. It's really nice to hang on to, and you just one-hand it, and you just— it doesn't have, you know, the all-terrains on it don't have enough grip to really get you in trouble. So, I mean, those things, those things flip real easy, but, you know, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm used to how it—
Caleb
YOLO.
Justin "The Juice"
Oh yeah, YOLO. I'm also used to how it handles, so. YOLO. I've yeeted that thing in the back road so many damn times, squealed the tires like a mofo.
Caleb
See, that's kind of like me in the Fiat running via— running via Serra, so which is like via Estrada Grajão Jacarepaguá. So basically from where I'm at up over mountains into downtown. Yeah, you know, up through the little mountain pass and all. And You know, running that in the Fiat, it's— I'm doing 30 miles an hour. And because it's got those little 165-wide 13s, it's just tires howling and I'm doing 30 miles an hour. And it's, and it's a blast. You know, it's making all those like '70s action movie sounds.
Justin "The Juice"
Yeah.
Caleb
That's like 30 miles an hour.
Justin "The Juice"
That's like one time when Chris, for a super short period of time, had a damn Lincoln Continental Mark VII, like gigantic boat, '70s-ass boat, right? And we were just cruising around a neighborhood and it squealed at 10 miles an hour, right? Like '70s, but like 10 miles an hour coming around a corner completely at a reasonable— within literally within the speed limit of the neighborhood speed. And some lady came running outside like, you're squealing, you're gonna kill somebody! I'm like, we were going 10, like, get out of here, man. She's like, I'm gonna call the cops. I'm like, for us doing the speed limit? Now that reminds me of all the suspension shit I need to do on the Stagea. I should throw poly bushings on it or something because it's— it honestly kind of pisses me off. on how like not great it is on the back roads. I can tell the chassis there, but something is so fucked up in the front suspension that it's just not predictable and it's not as predictable and fun. The steering's kind of like— it's just pisses me off because it should be so much better than it is.
Caleb
No, I feel you.
Justin "The Juice"
I feel you. I still love that car to death and it's still a ton of fun to drive, but I just I, I need to get that suspension fixed up because once it is, it'll be mint. But until then, it's just kind of like floaty.
Caleb
Yeah, the Fiat, the Fiat needs a little suspension work too.
Justin "The Juice"
Like somehow the Expedition has tighter steering. It's, it's, we have a problem.
Caleb
Yeah, I think I need to put an extra leaf in the rear on the Fiat.
Justin "The Juice"
It also could be an alignment issue because it's never been fully properly aligned. Because when I did get it aligned the last time, the— it was when I was working at the Kia dealer up here, and the guy was like, I— these bolts are real— for the toe and everything— are, are real, uh, tough and kind of rusty. I don't want to snap it, so I'm just going to leave that alone and get it as aligned as I possibly can. Which was definitely a lot better than it was, but it's still not perfect. So that probably would help. immensely as well.
Caleb
Yeah, get it aligned.
Justin "The Juice"
I'll take it to somebody who actually knows what they're doing and, you know, they'll actually do it.
Geno
Shout out Hoover Wheel Alignment in Minneapolis.
Justin "The Juice"
I don't think I'm taking it to Minneapolis, but if it is up there, I'll go there.
Geno
I mean, we can hang out.
Justin "The Juice"
Yeah, maybe if I— maybe if the, the job I get actually pays me a good bit of money, I'll take a road trip.
Caleb
Yeah, no, I need to put an extra leaf. As I said, I need to put an extra leaf in the rear springs on the Fiat. I think that'll help it a good bit.
Justin "The Juice"
I mean, I have been meaning to get out to Minneapolis. I haven't been out to Minnesota whatsoever. So I mean, I want to check off all 50 states at some point. And Minneapolis is a good— Minneapolis is a great city.
Caleb
Get up there, get yourself a Juicy Lucy. Yeah.
Geno
Caleb had fun when he was up here.
Caleb
Absolutely.
Geno
I don't remember what we did, but it was a good time.
Justin "The Juice"
Sounds like a plan.
Caleb
Well, I don't remember too much of what we did either after that drink. No, it was, it was a good time. It was winter, so it wasn't too much, but, uh.
Justin "The Juice"
You got a Juicy Lucy after that drink.
Caleb
Well, I had a, I got a Juicy Lucy, I watched M*A*S*H, and somehow Gino convinced me to drive home in a Volvo station wagon.
Geno
That was a great car.
Caleb
It is a great car.
Geno
One of the best I've ever owned. I mean, would not quit.
Caleb
Honestly, with a fresh coat of paint, I might be able to convince the, uh, Brazilian government to let me bring it down here.
Geno
Yeah, I say you should go for it.
Justin "The Juice"
I think you— if you could, if you managed to get on that, if you managed to get through all that, uh, paperwork and whatnot by yourself with the Brazilian, uh, DMV, I think you could probably import a Volvo.
Geno
Now, Caleb, don't, don't take this the wrong way. Is Brazil one of the South American countries where a proper application of dollars on the bottom side of the table will get you where you need to be?
Caleb
With a couple layers of bureaucracy, yes.
Justin "The Juice"
We're importing a Volvo to Brazil, folks.
Geno
So you're saying there's a chance.
Caleb
See, the trick is you have to have a despachante. So you apply. So what you do is you pay the despachante who goes and arranges things.
Justin "The Juice"
Just badge it as a Volkswagen and they won't bat an eye.
Caleb
It's over 30 years old. It can come in legally.
Justin "The Juice"
Oh, okay.
Caleb
It just needs to, uh, look somewhat reasonable and complete because it has to come in as a collector vehicle, so it has to look like it's something you would be collecting.
Justin "The Juice"
Maaco paint job.
Caleb
Hey, give her a little Earl Scheib special.
Geno
Yeah, I mean, like, it's pretty rust-free. Or it was when I last saw it. Body's straight.
Caleb
Yep.
Geno
It would take paint well.
Caleb
I mean, it is— it has spent— it has not spent a winter in the Midwest since you had it because I took it to, uh, because I bought it right around the end of winter, uh, 2015. And then it went to Tennessee not long afterward, and it has been in my uncle's garage or beside my uncle's house in Tennessee ever since. And it has not seen salt since it was in Minnesota.
Geno
So yeah, a good idea. That That car had, at least when I got rid of it, had a functional air conditioning system.
Caleb
It did not function when I had it. But no, it was— I missed that car, and I know where it is, and it would not be difficult to get it back.
Justin "The Juice"
Well, I could, I could, uh, I could help, uh, with the process being down in Tennessee.
Caleb
Is that my Uncle Bob's?
Justin "The Juice"
That'd be a fun trip. Wagon rescue.
Geno
You just get it from Tennessee to a port, get it in a container and get it down to Brazil.
Justin "The Juice"
Well, what— that'd be Port of Savannah probably would make most sense, right?
Caleb
Yeah, Port of Savannah to Rio de Janeiro. Then it would be—
Justin "The Juice"
Always loved me going down to Savannah, Georgia. I would not complain.
Caleb
Yeah, I mean, then get here, you know, get through all the bureaucracy stuff, uh, take it to Death Crown for inspection, you know, get tags on it, and then yeah, then park it out behind the Fiat. But that is a—
Geno
I see.
Caleb
That is a project for after the, uh, House hunt is complete.
Geno
See, you get the air working on that, and then that can be the car you take the wife around in, and you don't have to— you don't have to deal with that horsepower-sapping AC on your little Italian sports coupe.
Caleb
There you go. There we go.
Justin "The Juice"
That's what 100 shots for.
Caleb
I have thought about a Roadmaster though. I have a Roadmaster and a Twingo.
Geno
Wait, wait, wait. So the, the, uh, to bring it in as a collector car in Brazil is 30 years, right?
Caleb
Yep.
Geno
You know what's 30 years old? A 1996 Dodge Neon Sport.
Caleb
You know, you make an excellent point.
Justin "The Juice"
You know what else is 30 years old?
Geno
You know what's a worse idea? Wait 2 years and buy my friend's '98 Neon ACR.
Caleb
But 2 years is reasonable.
Justin "The Juice"
Hold on.
Geno
That has a very— You know what else is very easily backed up claim as a collector's car because it's an ACR.
Justin "The Juice"
True, but you know what else is a '96 year model?
Geno
What?
Justin "The Juice"
A Dodgey Bonne.
Geno
I mean, there are older Dodgey Bonnes than '96.
Justin "The Juice"
Yeah, but I'm just saying you can get a Dodgey Bonne slammed on Watts.
Caleb
You can get a lot of things slammed on Watts.
Geno
I mean, there's no reason you couldn't have that '98 Neon slammed on Watts.
Justin "The Juice"
That's true.
Geno
It's already plenty slammed. It's got the Mopar factory Hi-Rates on it.
Justin "The Juice"
And it could have a V10 in it.
Geno
See, that's just silly.
Caleb
No, the, uh, any dreams of other car are, uh, on slight postponement because, uh, the Hampians Brazil headquarters round 2 begins.
Justin "The Juice"
The search begins.
Caleb
Pretty much. Good news is we are looking at a place tomorrow.
Justin "The Juice"
Nice.
Caleb
It is a smaller house. It's about, it's about 1/3 the square footage of this one, but it's also going from a 2-car garage to a 4-car garage.
Geno
Now that's a perk.
Justin "The Juice"
That's a perk.
Caleb
And it's half the price.
Justin "The Juice"
Also a perk. That just means you can buy more cars.
Caleb
This is true.
Justin "The Juice"
Yeah, I think it's a— this is a broadcast I gotta get going too.
Caleb
All right, y'all, any last words for our listeners?
Justin "The Juice"
Uh, don't forget to check your diff fluid.
Geno
Yeah. Uh, check your ATF.
Justin "The Juice"
Yep.
Geno
People don't check that enough either.
Caleb
Make sure you check for termites before you sign a lease.
Justin "The Juice"
Yeah. And especially if your car is wooden.
Caleb
Especially if your car is wooden. All right, folks. See y'all next week.
Justin "The Juice"
Bye.
Caleb
And now one final word from our sponsors. Do you find yourself wondering late at night when they are gonna strike again? When you're gonna see them invading your house, your home, your kitchen? If this message resonates with you, You need kills-all tactical bug removal. We come in and we say, kill 'em all!